Kara is the Twenty

As the aftermath is setting in for me about the happenings in Connecticut, China, Oregon, and the other places around the world and in the past that have suffered such horrific experiences, I am heartsick. No, that's not the word. I'm in shock, distraught, in the deepest feelings of despair.

As I easily pay my bills, have good health, a family that loves me, a home to sleep in, my children asleep in their beds upstairs, I realize that this could all be taken from me in one quick breath. A madman, a crazy person, someone who is lost from Jesus, a person that has no sense of morality could whisk this all away from me as if it were a dream state.

My heart aches for those parents in Connecticut that have to bury their children. My daughter, 7 years old, is the face of all those children taken too soon. In our human view. What would be going through my head if I were that mother? What would my heart feel? Would I feel anything? Would I feel too much?

My first grader lays peacefully and safely in her bed. And she is alive. Twenty aren't.
I will make my first grader cinnamon rolls with fruit salad for breakfast tomorrow. Twenty moms won't.
My first grader still has a future that is bright. Twenty do not.
My first grader will attend school tomorrow (even if in our home). Twenty won't.

My grief for these mothers that have to bury their children is encompassing. I can't even put it to words. As a parent, you learn what your parents feared. And only a parent can fear these demons that our world has possessed and created as a parent can. Our children are the future. When a child is taken prematurely, it sends unrecognizable shock waves through a time.

Twenty children will not date, celebrate their first kiss, graduate high school, vote for president, drive a car, get married, have children, and experience these fears that their parents fear.

Kara is the face of all those children. I can't look at their pictures because her face appears in their place.

I try to be religious about this situation. Spread the good news. But my heart is broken for these parents and families that will experience an immense amount of sorrow just days before we celebrate the birth of our King. I pray, that in their darkest moments of weakness, God shows them their worth and purpose in surviving such a travesty. I pray, we as a nation band together and demand a higher moral compass for our society.

To the families in Connecticut, and others around the world affected by such travesty, my deepest condolences.

Heart Break

I listened and my stomach churned;
the sound made my lips quiver.
My frame went limp, as if my bones were decaying,
and I shook as I tried to walk. 
I long for the day of distress
to come upon the people who attack us.   -Habukkuk 3:16

I am sure that many of us are feeling this way after the past week of the tragic shootings across the world. Whether you are impacted directly or indirectly, as most are, it sickens one to the very core of self. Unable to process or believe the events has they unfold. The facts that become available.

Today, in the innocent setting of an elementary school in Connecticut, innocence ceased to exist. Lives of children and adults were suddenly ended. Many other lives will forever bear the scarring impact of witnessing these events. The sound of gunshots in the halls will echo through the heads of children. These children, who had faith and trust in the safety of their school environment, have been tainted with fear.

When events like this transpire, I hear a lot of people place blame on God. "Where was he?" "Why didn't he prevent?" And at times in my life, I, too, have said those questions. But in understanding God's plan, we will understand our purpose. 

I'm trying to avoid getting preachy. Because this wound is still fresh and bleeding. But when thinking about the religious aspect in all this, I find it sad that God is the one people choose to blame, instead of Satan. Satan is the one that creates evil in us. Satan is the one that hones in our weakest moments and thoughts and convinces us that we are to make the sinful choices we make. If God was to prevent all sin, where is free choice? Where is enjoyment in believing, preaching and sharing the Gospel? If God forces us, then our faith is meaningless.

Our hearts are the most deceitful part of our body.

Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"

The only cleansing refuge for a deceitful heart is Jesus. And even then, a constant repeat and exercise of having Jesus play a role in your heart is necessary to guard against the evil that can enter. 

We all want to see justice in situations like this. It's natural for humans to seek it, desire it, encourage it. Even if it isn't holy. We have to remember in all situations, God is ruler and final judge of all. The innocent lives of these children will not go unnoticed from our God. Let's not turn our backs on God at this time.

This is a time we should revive God in our communities, culture, country! This is a time we should band together in prayer and praise to God for our lives that he has spared to share his Gospel. There is purpose in every deed and act. And even the evil acts God will turn around into a blessing for anyone who wants to receive it. If you don't know the love of Christ, if you have questions on how to receive him, ask!!! Ask me, ask your neighbor, your pastor, your friend, your family member! Our world is turning into a bad bad place. We need Christ!

Alas!
The city once full of people
now sits all alone!
She who was once prominent among the nations
has become a widow!
The princess who once ruled over the provinces
has become a forced laborer!

She weeps bitterly at night;
tears stream down her cheeks.
There is no one to comfort her
among all her former lovers.
All her friends have dealt treacherously with her;
they have become her enemies.  - Lamentations 1: 1-2

Let's change our world together! One for Christ .. Christ for ALL! In peace and love. Humility and purpose! Don't let this moment to share the Good News go!

Burning Hard-boiled Eggs

I am busy. Not just busy like because I like to be busy. But I am busy, like, out the nose snot busy. That's pretty gross, actually.

I work part time for a broker as an assistant. I work on his websites; create flyers; take pictures of homes and edit the pictures; create packets for him to give to prospective sellers and buyers; drop documents onto another website for viewing; create MLS listings; and then other things "as needed."

I work part time as a photographer. This amounts to about 6-8 sessions a month. I spend hours editing. Then I create a personalize photo CD. I deal with paperwork, taxes, and other business legality requirements.

I'm a home schooling mom. I research, create, teach, learn, and educate at home. I take my kids on field trips. I find meaningful lessons that will, hopefully, broaden their views on the world. I have to plan weeks at a time (just like a real classroom teacher). I have to meet state standards. (Luckily, I've been educated on how to teach and meet standards.) I have to keep in contact with our home school coop adviser at our enrolled school. 

I'm a stay-at-home mom. This means everything beyond what I already do, falls on me. Laundry, dishes, floors, bathrooms, kids, kids' rooms, my room, counter and table tops, stairs, vacuuming, meals. OH MY GOSH the meals! That is a huge chunk of my day right there. Shopping, errands, bills, playtime, school time, game time, bed time, bath time. 

I am a Sunday School teacher and an adult class leader. And serving God is a passion for me. I love it! It's the only thing my life that makes sense everyday. Duties "as needed" from Him require no contract, pay, or benefit package.

And last night, I burned hard-boiled eggs.

Yes, how does all that work with burning boiled eggs? I was not paying attention. I got distracted by one of my duties, and well .. and hour went by, and the hard boiled eggs I had carefully put on the stove ... burned.

A class I started leading at church, made clear to me that I am over extended. No, I am maxed over extended. If there was an over extension, I would be beyond that. My brain can no longer plan or take in anymore information.

Something has to give. And thanks to this lesson at church, God made clear to me that something. He also made clear to me, knowing my frame of mind at the moment, that everything would be okay. My worries about specific future events would be fine. I would be okay. And most importantly, my family would be happier!

The eggs, though still edible, were a huge part of me realizing that things needed to change in my life. 

One Monthish Down

So, we are a month into home schooling and I'm pretty sure today was the longest day of home schooling yet.

We didn't have any extra work other than our normal stuff. Kara was just so easily distracted with whatever thoughts popped into her little mind. Sometimes, I am amazed at the things she thinks of.

As part of her Farm School attendance, I make encourage her to journal every day that she goes to school. In the beginning, this was a bit of a task because she didn't want to do it. As she reads back through the last month of attendance at the school, she loves that she can recall the events that took place, and the fun she is having. I think she will enjoy that journal even more once she is out of the Magpies class.

This last month has had many challenges, but it has had many more rewards. I love that my daughter and I have a new found relationship. I never expected her to be so brutally honest and open with me. I, at the very least, just hoped to help her confidence and ambition. There are days where I am surprised I'm not complete intoxicated by the time Aaron gets home from work. Let's just say, there is not a day that I am alone. I am ALWAYS with a child!

I am seeing the beauty in home schooling. And the further into our curriculum and activities we go, the more I love it! When I get to help my child one to one with her struggles in understanding a concept, I know she is getting a better grasp on it. When I get to see her excel in her subject content, get 100% on her tests, and most (and best) of all see her handwriting improve. That is the reward of home schooling.

Is our system perfect? Absolutely not! I will say it's still a system in progressive nature. :)

We work together. And there are days where Kara doesn't want to cooperate. I get it. She's 6. She would do that at public school as well, as with any other child. She is more loving and caring now than I have ever seen. She wants to help. She is listening better. But she still has her stubborn independent sassy attitude. Most of which I don't necessarily want to change. My girl is spunky and such a joy to teach!

I have watched her relationship with her brother improve 10 fold! That has to be the best result of this home schooling adventure we embarked on a month ago. Seeing siblings play, fight, make up, and, in general, just be together agreeably is an amazing thing! She has even started "teaching" Mason! Which is awesome!

I love my children. I love my family! I am so incredibly blessed to have this opportunity to home school. I'm not sure how long I will be able to have this blessing in my life, but I know that I will not take it for granted. Even on those days, where time by myself would be super, I remind myself that I'm one lucky mom! I get to be with the best kids in the whole world.

And I get to watch them grow academically, spiritually, emotionally! I get to teach them!

Apple Pie

This week we have been engulfed in school, work, cleaning, organizing, playing, and Halloween. It has been super busy. I am very glad that it is Friday, and that tomorrow I have NOTHING that I have to do except work on organizing my time .. well that will be a task.

This week we read "Amelia Bedelia's First Apple Pie."

It was a great story for Kara to read. It was challenging in that it taught Kara that there are many different names and types of apples. It also made her laugh. I also think it indirectly taught her that sometimes things don't quite turn out how you would like, but there is always a backup event that can make things better.

In an effort to stretch my teaching training, I turned this little fun story into an entire unit. Yes, folks, even friendly children stories can be educational.

I stumbled upon this book on our library day last week and I just knew that Kara would love to read it and make an apple pie. We did the basic spelling words. But I added three vocabulary words with sentence use. And then I tested her. She got 100% on both the spelling test and the vocab/comprehension test. My test writing skills are still a bit amateur, but I think I'll get better as time goes on.

You'll probably have to click on it to read it, if you want to. :)

Kara decided since the book was about apples, we would make an apple tree with her spelling words on the apples for her to look at regularly. So .. we did....

She did quite well

I told Kara we would make the pie from the recipe in this book. Yes, this book included a recipe for apple pie. And I will be making a copy of it before I return it to the library! It was just that good!!

So we went shopping for Granny Smith apples .. as suggested in the story by "Grandpa." He said "they are the best for pies."

And we made the apple pie filling....

I peeled, cored, and sliced 8 cups of apples. Apple pie filling in the jar at the store would be much easier. However, I don't think it would've been as tasty!

Then we made the pie crust .. yes from scratch .. it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be .. and I don't have a picture of mixing it .. but here Kara is rolling it out....

I had to help her a bit. The marble rolling pin is a bit heavy. :)

Once we pulled it from the oven, it smelled and looked amazing. For being Kara's first homemade pie (and my first homemade apple pie) I think it's pretty amazing.

The crust was PERFECTLY cooked. Perfectly seasoned. Perfect thickness.

Final judgement was left up to our dinner guests, and they gave her ovation of goodness. Even had seconds on the pie!

My official judgement on the pie: Kara is on apple pie duty for Thanksgiving!!

"The Story of Ferdinand"

It has been a few days since I wrote a post. Mainly because it has been whirlwind of activities in our house, town, state, and nation. And writing a post kept proving to be difficult with all those things swirling around in my head.

So, now that we've completed our first reading comprehension and spelling unit of "The Story of Ferdinand" by Munro Leaf, I have a clear subject to blog on.

This is a great book to read just to read to children. It teaches them many things, but most importantly that is okay to be different. The book is loaded with fun vocabulary words. Though I didn't do vocabulary. I do plan to expand on our reading comprehension units with vocabulary, geography, dictation and spelling. This specific unit we did only dictation, comprehension and spelling. Totally missed the bar on geography! Spain will be on our list to study.

Kara worked on 15 spelling words all week. Writing them, reading them, spelling them out loud. And today, was test day.

I am quite happy about her first spelling test.

Believe me, it took every ounce of me to not "remind" her to capitalize Madrid. I knew that once we went through to correct the words, she'd slap her head, and she did.

I'm a big believer in self-correction when it comes to spelling. I believe it helps hone in the idea of the words when children correct their own works. I made sure she used a crayon so she couldn't just "correct" the words. LOL

She was quite disappointed that she missed Madrid. Such a simple mistake. I didn't mark her down for capitalizing "sharp." Her logic was sound in why she did it. But I did remind her that words that aren't proper nouns or at the beginning of a sentence, aren't to be capitalized.

Language Arts will be on our schedule next week.

Cheers!

Home School is Weird!

The truth came out today about how Kara feels about being homeschooled.

"It's weird!!!" she exclaimed from the bathroom.

Now, I understand how she would think this. Most of her friends attend what would be considered a "normal" school; private, public, or charter. Some ride a bus. Some have homework. And there are a few that have told her it's weird. Which makes me even more angry, but that's for another post about how bullying doesn't only take place in the classroom.

Needless to say, I asked her to clarify what was "weird" about being home schooled. Cause I know that she hasn't been exposed to the weird home school kids, yet.

She explained it wasn't normal. And to a 6 y/o, anything that isn't "normal" is "weird."

I asked her if she thought her Farm School classmates were home schooled. She said they weren't.

AH HA!!! The culprit misconception has been exposed!

I proceeded to tell her that I can bet that they are all home schooled in one facet or another. And that some are taught by there moms, some by their dads, some by other parents that do a coop situation.

Home school is becoming less weird to her.

She said that she wanted to still go to Farm School, but not be home schooled. But unfortunately for her, that is not possible.

A) Because Aaron and I have decided this is how her education is going to play out.
B) Logistically speaking, she can't be in two places at once.
and
3) We are the parents and get to make this decision.

Yes, some of you will read this and think "Well it's not what she wants." Okay, you raise your kids that way, we'll raise ours this way.

We aren't a dictatorship, but my 6 y/o daughter does not know how things affect the future. She only knows instant gratification. As most children do. I don't blame her! Immediate gratification is awesome, but not always the best route.

Would you let your child take off in your car without first teaching him/her how to drive it? No. Well, most parents wouldn't, at least.

She said she was bored with home school. Yeah, I picked up on that last week!!! So we are breezing through the math so I can get an idea of exactly where she is. She was okay with that.

She also doesn't like to hear my "teacher" voice. Never knew I had one. Guess it makes sense though. I told her that there are times where I have to use the "teacher" voice, because in that moment, that is my role. She agreed (or at least shook her head to appease me).

She made cheese and butter today at Farm School, with the milk the got from Friday. (she didn't like it)
But will kids in a "normal" schooling situation typically get to do that?? No!
I'm okay with "weird." I embrace it! Normal isn't my thing.

It's not even Kara's thing!!!! Have you met my singing artist fashionista?!?!?

My Children are the MOST Amazing Children!

All I have to say is that I am so glad today was a test day!!! Or as Mason heard it "Treasure Chest Day" HAHAHAHA
We .. when I say we I mean me .. I have decided to do a 4 day a week schedule.
This being our first week, it went rather smoothly with the curriculum.
When I finally have possession of our Language Arts and Reading curriculum, we'll see how it all pans out.
But for now, it worked FABULOUS.
And today, was test day.
Spelling and Math.

I am so incredibly proud of how Kara is working within this new schedule.
She is thriving!
Bouncing back to her beautiful being that I know she is.
She is being courteous again.
Polite to others.
Helpful to her brother.
The sassiness has almost ceased.
And, no, she is not 100% home schooled!
So I know that she is around other kids and adults without me around.
She is being respectful again.
And she is obeying, kind, generous, thoughtful, and smiley again!
Yes, almost all of that had left my beautiful favorite daughter.
Which is one part of the reason we decided to home school.

Parents have deep impact on children's behavior.  And yes, I know they have to be acclimated to situations without parents around to be able to practice these attributes. But what was happening is that while Kara was expected to do all those things, and usually did, she wasn't academically performing to her level.

I know my child. And I know what is best for her. Not anyone else (except for Aaron and God). Between us three, we are able to proceed in the direction we are going without any issues! And it has been FABULOUS!

Kara is working her hardest and performing better than before. I will not look back to the past of education with her. Because it was just not fitting to our expected mold for our child! And no parent should have to just "accept" the system in which they are thrown, just because!

Many people voiced concerns about Kara being able to concentrate at home, receive one on one attention, or have us give special attention to Mason. Won't this overload us? Won't it cause problems with raising our kids individuality?

I can assure all of you, that Kara is receiving a more individualized education than we could've ever dreamed of before. I can also assure you, that my children are not being neglected. She is working hard, concentrating and focusing. And when it is "school time" while Mason naps, she is focused on learning!

I am one proud momma of my favorite daughter and favorite son!!

Starving for Reaffirmation .. God ALWAYS Provides!!!

For some reason, I got a double whammy with being sick.
And winter hasn't even made it's full appearance yet.
It's no biggie though.
I mean, I can still do the laundry, make the meals, clean up after the kids, do my job for my realtor boss, edit pictures, home school Kara, take both kids to their schools on their respective days, sleep, eat.....

Only when hopped up on dayquil and espresso ...

No problem.

If my heart jumps out of my chest, just blame the dayquil, I don't want espresso to get a bad name! :)

Today, while Kara was doing her worksheets, I was having one of my moments, where I doubt my decision to home school. They are coming less frequently as I see the benefits in my child's self esteem and performance, but they, no doubt, still come.

So I love this one blogger Mom, she is amazing!
My hero actually.
Look, I'm working with one kid, she has 4!!! FOUR kids!!!

At any rate, I pretty much stalk her.
Her blog.
Her Facebook page.
Whatever I can!
See, I'm obsessed, just putting it out there for you..

But that's neither here nor there.
What made me doubt this home school thing was this........

This is our station for home schooling. It is CHAOTIC to me!

I need organization! I need help in organization!!!!!!! Can you help me?!?!

So as I was doing my daily stalking of her Facebook page, I saw that someone had made a comment after me on something I had commented on.

Her comment was a Website about the academic performance of home school kids.

EXACTLY what I needed to read!!! Click HERE to read the article!
I think for a many days to come, I'm going to need reaffirmation!

And I praise God every time he places information in front of me to reaffirm our decision!

A Flow

We started our "normal" part of school today.
The CURRICULUM!!!
I was kinda dreading this day, because I wasn't sure if Kara would sit and listen to me being a "teacher."

But she did!

And she told me she liked it!

And that made me smile.

We did penmanship using Handwriting Without Tears.

Reading and Language Arts

Saxon Math lessons 21-22

And she did her journal entry for school (something I'm making her do for reflection and penmanship exercise).

A normal day at a "real" school, this would take all day. 

(and that is without the fun science she is getting at the farm school)

But for us .. it took 1.5 hours!!

NO STINKING JOKE!

 Gotta love her enthusiasm! :)

The best part about homeschooling (and not that you can't do this anyway) but it's the implementation teaching the values, morals, and Biblical beliefs we hold near and dear. We are using our Sunday School lessons from church and studying them deeper, and with more activities. Can even put this part of our day into our Geography unit of the world, that we begin tomorrow.

I'm still trying to figure out our schedule and what will benefit us the most with where we spend our time and how. 

But for now, and by now I mean today. We had success!!!

Farm School .. Take 2

What a beautiful day it is today in Palmer, Alaska!
I have to say, the weather couldn't have been better for my daughter's first day at Louise's Farm School!

This morning she said her tummy was hurting .. nerves.
She was scared, and contained her excitement very well.
I knew she was nervous.
And bounding all that up would make anyone's tummy hurt.
Her biggest concern was making friends.
One of the issues we had at her last school was how she always felt left out.

Today, when I dropped her off (about 10 minutes earlier than the rest of the kids), the teachers greeted her.
Ms. Megan came right over and asked Kara to help her with something.
Kara got to walk the farm dogs home.

She didn't even give me a hug and kiss when I was leaving .. *tear*
But I didn't want to mess up this already fine transition into a new environment.

All morning I thought about her at school....
Wondering if she was being shy or friendly...
Was she making friends or feeling left out ...
Was she enjoying herself..
Would she eat the snack that is prepared at the farm for the kids...

Finally, it was time to pick her up from school
And she was happy!
A smile filled her face!
She LOVED Farm School!
As Aaron and I knew she would!
And she can't wait to go back Monday.

Oh, and she got to ride on a tractor, feed and chase hens, care for baby bunnies and learn about corn and wheat!

Edit .. Kara's journal entry for the day!

Wrong Side of the Bed

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.
Missed yoga again.
Did not want to go to work.
Didn't even want to make breakfast for my kids.
I was so tired.
I was cold last night.
And on top of all of that, Aaron was snoring.
SOOOOOOO irritating.

I dragged my derrier out of bed, got dressed and made my way downstairs, to realize I never set out Kara's school work.
You have to be kidding me!
So I fumbled through the workbooks I have had her working in. Got that situated.

Mason says "I'm so so so so hungry, Mom."
And of course he doesn't want what I'm offering.

Luckily, my girl is very flexible. :)

Dropped the boy off at preschool, and the girl and I headed to my office.
There's a room there where she can do her work, read, play, or watch a movie.
And, bonus, they have snacks on Thursdays, because there's a realtor meeting.

Homeschooling is proving to me, that I am so disorganized.
Also that I am way more lazy than I originally thought.
And that if I don't have a plan ready for action, oh man does chaos break loose oh so quickly.

I do not do "chaos."
EVER!

Luckily, both my kids were tired this afternoon and they BOTH took much needed naps.
And that meant I was able to get some of the house picked up and cleaned. It's been neglected.

I sat down for about 45 minutes, which could have been a catastrophic mistake.
Thank God it was a sun shining day!
And I was able to take my kids outside for some fresh air.
Okay, let's be honest, I needed the fresh air!
The kids just needed me to be mom.

Lesson .. NEVER skip morning cup of coffee!

Owls, Witches, and Pumpkins OH MY! Our trip to the library!

Today, I took the kids to the library.
It was a good experience.
I have decided as part of our weekly routine, we will be going to the library once a week.
This will give me time to update my planning for the week, as well as give Kara some exploratory time to find new reading material.
Side bonus: I don't have to pay for it! She brought home like 3 Fancy Nancy books!! SCORE

At any rate, I decided this morning today would be the day Kara got her own library card.
Not sure why this is such a rite of passage for kids, but for some reason they feel amply grown up having their own card that means something.

She was very proud of it.

We left the library around an hour or so after we got there.
Let me just say, this is a first for me.
Usually I'm so irritated with my kids noise level that I am ready to leave as soon as we arrive.
I have had my children "shushed" in a library before.
So I'm not entirely sure why the children's section is wide open to the general areas of the library.
But anyway....

We left with our loot .. Kara checked out her very own books and was given her own bag!
Such a grown up child!

I borrowed an audio book, "Anne of Green Gables."
I'm so tired of radio and cds.
Just changing it up a bit!
Every time I turn on the radio, all I hear is the request for money. I'm SOOOOO sick of it!

ANYWAY...... We popped "Anne" in and listened to chapter one on our way home.
The kids happily looked through their books.

I couldn't wait to get home to setup my "reading" station.
You know .. where teachers display books that are fitting to the week, season, and so on.

I also couldn't wait to do the pumpkin craft that I planned out in my head while at the library.

Hungry and tired kids delayed that plan .. so I fed them (of course) and put Mason down for a nap and Kara laid in her bed reading through her allowed 6 books. (We do amount by age.)

Then once everyone was well rested, I had put together the craft and we read a couple of the books I had picked out and did the craft.

I'm a huge fan of book to crafts.
So, of course, I picked a book that I knew would facilitate the image of the mosaic pumpkin.

Very cute book by the way! I highly recommend you read it to your kids. It's really not SCARY! I mean .. it is for the Owl, Witch, Crickets, and kids in the story! :)

At any rate, the kids sat down at the table for the craft and glued and glued and glued!

Not quite "mosaic" art pumpkins, but still a fun activity none the less.

Farm School Visit FAIL

As a mom, I forget that sometimes my desires aren't quite what my child wants.
Separating those emotions into parenting style ones can be very hard to do.
Especially when you are the parent of a child who is very much an independent little person.

Today, we went to visit Louise's Farm School.
It's an awesome little place located on a hay farm, that was once an operating diary farm (the lingering scent of cows is all you need to know that).
We walked around the premises.
In the classrooms and out.
Even got to visit with some newborn little bunnies. Only about 2 weeks old.
Saw the classroom where Kara would be with her peers.
And I was sold.

I love the things they do with the kids.
The environmental science basis.
The fact that they have Alaska Pacific University grad students teaching the kids in a 1:6 ratio.
I wanted to sign myself up.
And Mason wanted to sign up, too.

But Kara, not Kara.
She wasn't sold.
She said it looked boring.
It was stinky.
And that she didn't think she'd have a good time there.
I'm not sure she is separating the ideas of only being there part time, for only part of the day three days a week, with full time attendance at a different school.

Dealing with kids is rough sometimes as a mom.
What I want for them, what needs to be done for them, isn't always what they want.
Their best interests are always at the core of my heart and decision making.
I also don't want to crush any independent spirit that is forming.

Knowing (almost 100% guaranteeing) that Kara will, in fact, have an amazing time at this school, I made a deal with her.
Look, everything you read about "making deals" with your kids says not to.
But in this situation, I want her to try.

Children really are extreme creatures of habit, aren't they.

So I asked her to try it for seven weeks. (the remainder of fall semester)
And if at the end of the semester she didn't like it, we would find some other exciting thing to do in the spring.
And if at the end of her first grade school year, home schooling was just not working for her, she could be honest with me and her dad, and we would put her back in public school.

In my opinion, we are the parents.
Our decision will always be the final one.
But I don't want my children to think that they don't have a say in their lives.
Remember when I wrote this blog?
I am raising adults, NOT children.

And it is NEVER too young to instill in them a rightful understanding of proper and logical input in the decisions that are being made in their lives for their futures.

I'm just a mom, doing my best, trying to make sure my kids get the best education they can with experiences unlike any other.

Accidental Service Project mixed in with Our First Day

Today we officially started our homeschooling education. Though it was very basic.
I am waiting to meet with Kara's Advising Teacher at her school to see where we need to go.
Since I don't have access to her testing and scores, I'm not at 100% where her reading level is and her math skills.
This morning we just did some basics, and will do basics pretty much all week until I can figure out a routine.

We worked on
1) Penmanship: She has crazy handwriting. One of the reasons we were unhappy with her previous school. The way they were approaching penmanship in her class was OUTRAGEOUS!!! So I decided to it the RIGHT way! Yes there is a wrong way and a write way to teach proper penmanship. Two black lines drawn on a white piece of paper for a first grader is a WRONG way. How else do they learn to control the size of their letters? Or prevent their "s" from slithering away!?
2) Rhyme Time Phonics: We did some basic Rhyme Time Phonics, which also included some spelling. Though, Kara can read some pretty tough chapter books, and summarize, she has a bit of a problem writing words correctly. This triggers my knowledge of understanding Phonics. So we're working on that part.
3) Math: She did some basic math. Pretty darn close to what they were doing at school. At least, as far as I could tell based on the work she was bringing home.

Field Trip: We went to the Palmer Fire Dept for a tour of the trucks.

Accidental Service Project: After the fire dept tour, I took the kids to the park. NO RAIN!! YAY!! As we were playing, Kara had pointed out how much garbage was on the ground. There wasn't a garbage can around .. seriously!!?! A park with no garbage can??  Anyway, I had a grocery sack in the car, grabbed it and Kara and all the little ones ran around the park picking up the garbage. Service project without a production! :)

Look, I'm so new at this, I have NO IDEA where we are going with this homeschooling business. If you handed me a classroom with 24 first graders, I could probably whip together a lesson plan with future planning in no time at all. That's what I was trained to do. Why? Because in a situation like that, you teach to the middle with some variances to below and above average performance.

Now, I'm working with one child. Which means I am catering my ENTIRE lesson planning to her abilities. It's a little bit more challenging because this means there is no "middle." There is Kara!

As our days go on, I know there will be more structure, and we'll eventually find our flow. At least, I hope we will!

Extra reading for you.... I am still trying, occasionally, to talk myself out of this decision. And believe me, I have come up with a good amount of reasons to not home school. But also a good amount of reasons to home school.

This blog post has 50 reasons to home school .. and I think I've said about 37 to myself. Anyway, enjoy!

Edit: We also decided that we are going to keep garbage bags in the car now, for those times we come across a littered area. :)

We're Choosing to Homeschool .. SO WHAT?!

Since we've made known our decision to homeschool our kids, we have been getting an array of responses. From extreme support to complete opposition.
True colors of people and their "conditional"support really comes out when you choose to do something that is out of the context of being "socially" normal.

The truth is, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks about our choices for our children.
Yes, a little support would be nice.
But keep your constant opposing views to yourself.

The one thing I have learned through this process (and the insane amount of research I have done) is that people will always choose to live and believe in their own little bubble world.
What does it matter to you how I raise my children?
If they aren't out breaking the law, doing drugs, causing havoc, then what is your concern?
If they are reading one-two-three grade levels above their "grade," then what is your concern?
If they are being taught morals, values, and beliefs of our family, instead of learning what kids bring to the classroom, then what is your concern?
If my kids are well rounded, polite, well behaved children, what is it your concern how we educate them?

In Alaska, our resources are AMAZING when it comes to choosing to homeschool.
I'm not sure why, but I would assume probably because the remoteness of where people live.
Providing curriculum and getting it into the hands of parents that don't have access to public schools seems like an ideal situation to me.
Not that we don't have access to public schooling.

The homeschooling stigma is a very negative one.
One that I would hope our family and friends would know that we would never become.
I won't closet my children.
I know that educating them in this way they will get an even better education than the educational system could ever dream of providing.

So, for all you naysayers, that just HAVE to have an opinion about homeschooling. Do your research FIRST? Then show me studies where homeschooling is more negative on a society than positive.

Oh and just so you know, both my husband and I have master's degrees in education. What two better people to choose to homeschool their kids than us??

Decision Confidence!

Sometimes, no all the time, we just need a little faith.
A little confidence in our decision making and some common sense to know when what we are doing just isn't working.
Sometimes, no all the time, we just need to take a step back and reevaluate what is going on.
Take in all the information.
Make an educated decision.
Then be confident in that decision.

Why is it when it comes to our children, our confidence in our decision making shatters like glass?
I am probably one of the worst offenders in doubting my decisions.
I really REALLY don't want to screw up my kids.
I mean, if they are messed up as adults, who are they going to blame ... ME!
So it is ALWAYS, no sometimes, very difficult to be confident in my decisions.

Why does the education system let children like my daughter fall through the cracks?
She's bright, intelligent, sociable, friendly, obedient, service oriented, ambitious.....
How does a child that has the goals to be successful in life get "left behind?"
How does a child, with two teachers as parents, fall between the cracks in our education system?

Look, I'm not going to bash on our educational system.
I know it's not perfect. I'm aware that it can be the most inspiring and uninspiring system at the same time.
I cannot sit by and watch my child get dropped through the cracks.

For the first time, in my motherhood experience, I am 100% confident in our decision regarding Kara's education. And THAT, my friends, SCARES the living cereal out of me!!

At this time, in our first grader's educational experience, we are venturing into a new territory.
Claiming our ground as parents, educators, and influences of our daughter.
There have been many times with Mason, I know I'm doing the right thing.
Kara was my practice toddler .. ;)

There is one thing everyone will be able to say about Aaron and me...
We LOVE our children!
With every beat of our hearts, breath in our lungs!
And because of that, we will not let a system fail our daughter!!

Being Sick isn't my Thing

I have THE best husband of all time. No, seriously I do.

Yesterday he came home from work, knowing I was sick.

Cleaned the kitchen, laundry room and half-bath.

Made dinner.

Fed the offspring.

Cleaned up after dinner, including but not limited to sweeping the kitchen, wiping the counters down, and the table.

Played with the kids.

Got them ready for bed AND put in bed!

And built two brand new book cases for me!

ALL WITHOUT COMPLAINT!

Where was I through all of this? Well I was in bed, on the couch, watching TV, struggling to walk across the house, up the stairs, to the bathroom. I am so darn sick. Viruses seriously suck the life out of me.

Today, in an effort to decrease the things my awesome hubby will have to do when he gets home, I pulled out my trusty sidekick the Crock Pot.

I follow a blog that has a TON of crock pot recipes up to 10 ingredients. This one has 4!! SCORE!

It is Apricot Chicken over rice! It will be amazing! I just know it!

I will forever be grateful to my patient and active hubby who jumps right in and deals with it all!

Rainy Days with van Gogh

When the playdoh entertainment runs its last moments. When the clouds are dumping their rainy load. When the kids are bored. What do you do?!?!

My daughter loves art. She especially loves Vincent van Gogh. At her age, I think I was more obsessed with playing barbies, house or school. But this girl, my favorite daughter, LOVES art! In an effort to encourage something I know nearly nothing about, I seek out blogs and the like for inspirations of how to teach Kara art.

Since today is a rainy day, I thought I would find some van Gogh fun while brother was napping. :)

This is van Gogh's famous sunflower piece. Seeing that recreating this was a bit scary for Kara.I follow a blog that a homeschooling mom writes and posts her art lessons that she does with her kids. So I kinda took her lead and pieced together her lesson on sunflower art with her kids she did here and went a slightly different direction. She provided this pictures of a sunflower in June this summer....

So pulled this picture up and let Kara study it. She loves pointing out detail and analyzing it. She also loves flowers. BONUS! Not to mention looking at a sunflower on a gloomy, rainy day does kinda lift my spirits!

My beautiful artist daughter came up with this rendition of a sunflower.....

Which is now proudly displayed on her Gallery Wall in her bedroom! :)

What do you do with your kids on rainy days?

A New Birth

"Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to all generously and without criticizing, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith without doubting. For the doubter is like the surging sea, driven and tossed by the wind. ......... By His own choice, He gave us a new birth by the message of truth so that we would be the firstfruits of His creatures." James 1: 5-6, 18

I have to admit, I haven't really ever focused on the book of James before. But this morning I was compelled to read James 1. I have a weird thing with trials in life. Because I believe our God to be good in all things, believing that he would PUT trials in my life is a hard pill to swallow. I know that Satan is one powerful being and will always be putting me to the test, to see where I am weak in my faith. Therefore, if Satan is testing me, then God isn't?!?! Right?

I read James 1: 2-18 and found that the writer never says that God is testing us. Just that our faith will be tested .. "Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance." James 1:2-3 ... just tells me that in going through trials in our life, that when we rely on the awesomeness and commitment of God, our faith will come out stronger and can endure more in this life.

As a fairly new Jesus-walker, I experienced one extreme trial from the start. Dealing with a drug addiction when I gave my life to Christ was one of the most difficult times. I committed to Christ to be the follower he calls for. Though, not in a sober frame of mind, I came through stronger. I ended the use of the drugs, and Jesus has been my prize ever since. That wasn't overnight, mind you. It was several months. And even after the fact, I still behaved in an unacceptable way. However, looking back to the summer of 2011, I can see exactly where I was walking, and where I was being carried.

Jesus was there. In the form of new friends, new church family, even to some extent my husband seemed different to me. "But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing." James 1:4 ... if I hadn't endured through that time in my life, if I hadn't committed myself to living and loving Jesus. I am unsure what my future would've been. My faith now is stronger.

James goes on to say that those that "lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to all generously and without criticizing.." I'm not sure about you, but this SCREAMS at me that God is not only there to guide me, but he is there to help me through my self-inflicted trials in life, without criticizing me. He's not there to bullet point all the things I was doing wrong, but rather guide me in the direction of doing what is right. What is holy and pleasing to God.

"A man who endures trials is blessed, because when he passes the test he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him." v.12

And CLEARLY, plain as day in verses 13 and 14 it states "No one undergoing a trial should say, "I am being tempted by God." For God is not tempted by evil, and He Himself doesn't tempt anyone. But each person is tempted when he is drawn away and enticed by his own evil desires."

FRIENDS, GOD DOES NOT TEMPT US!!! HE REDEEMS US!!!

That is good news to me! Knowing that I simply can just resist my humanistic desires to sin, with the help of God, and also knowing that if there is a trial that is self-inflicted (Satan encouraged) .. all I need to do is call on God for wisdom and He will bring me through it. God is a god of LOVE and ENCOURAGEMENT. NOT a god of temptation and evil!! Be clear, friends, be clear.

I came out of my darkest hour last August. Not because of what I was doing. But because Jesus was there, holding my hand, carrying me at times, lifting me through the quicksand. I fell in love with following Jesus because he saved me from all that I was inflicting on myself!

"By His own choice, He gave us a new birth..."

To Love

Love is a fruit, in season at all times and within the reach o f every hand. Anyone may gather it and no limit is set. ~Mother Teresa~

When I think of love, I think of it as something tangible, shown by gifts, affection, service, words of affirmation. I think of love as something that we learn to do as we get to know someone or trust someone. Love is a commodity of sorts that people can sort of "buy" in their actions toward one another. And I'm sure I'm not the only one that views love as such.

However, when I think of love in the way it was meant to be: sacrificial toward all regardless of anything that may or may not be in opposition toward one's belief system, life style, or society placement, it begs me to wonder if I, personally have put limitations on how and, especially, who I love.

I've heard a story many times about Penn Jillette being an atheist but still loving all regardless and he puts it like this. (summarizing for my understanding)

How much do you have to hate someone to not push them out from in front of a bus?

I see this in a couple of different lights. He says this regarding Disciples of Christ not sharing the word and light of eternal life with Christ with non-believers, specifically. Referring to the fear of evangelism and not "loving" someone enough to share with them the love of Christ.

But I also see this question in this way, that even though I may not "hate" someone that if I'm not showing everyone compassion and unfailing, unconditional love, in a sense I am "hating" them. Would I just stand there and let someone get hit by a bus simply because I don't know them?

Total strangers are fighting and dying for me everyday. They have never met me, my kids, my husband, likely my family large extended families. Yet they love me.

This brings me back to my original thought on love. How do we love without conditions? How do we give love without unknowingly forcing people to "buy" it?

Mother Teresa puts it quite simply and honestly (as well as Biblically) that love is a fruit. Fruit of the Spirit.

Galations 5: 22-23 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

Nothing gives anyone the right to show anyone anything but love! I have been through some hard times emotionally and struggled with loving someone. Justifying to myself that So-and-so didn't deserve my love. But when I look at this concept Biblically, and follow it to the essence of root, my love cannot be conditional.

Jesus didn't pick and choose who he was dying for. He said he was preparing a way for all. All we need to do is accept and believe. His love for the sinner was unconditional. He dined with them, extended his hand to them in times of need, had intimate conversations with them without them feeling wary.

My call to love regardless goes deeper than a superficial reward or an artificial appearance. To love someone, regardless of if they are like me or not, is a requirement. And when you love all truly, unwavering, without measure, and with true genuine deep caring and abiding love, humankind becomes beautiful in all circumstances.

1 Corinthians 13: 13 "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

I Suck as a Mom

I suck at being a parent. Not in the "Oops, I forgot little Tommie's sippy cup" kind of sucking, but in the "Lost my control over spilled milk" kind of sucking at being a parent.

I keep trying to turn in my retirement papers, but they keep getting rejected.

What is it that makes a good parent, anyway?

I expected parades of "Thank-yous" and "Please" as well as picture perfect clean house, with the most well-behaved children. Not to mention the loving and most enjoyable relationship with my husband. This was my idea of what being a parent/wife.

Let me tell you, today (and many days in the past) who or whatever lead me to believe this was an accurate portrayal of life as a parent and wife are, man I found out they are liars! Never believe what you see on TV!

I do believe that when they made the movies about Dennis the Menace, they were really prepping me (and the world) for Mason.

I am no June Cleaver or Mrs. Brady. Again .. more lies on the TV.

One day my Dennis and "fill in the blank from 90210 characters" dramatic daughter Kara will have children of their own! :) This is the rewards of being a parent!

Not a Size 6

Yesterday I watched Dr. Oz. I know! I can't believe I did that either. But only because his show yesterday wasn't about how cell phone usage causes brain cancer, or any cancer causing issues. Even though, to him, everything causes some form of cancer. No doubt today's episode will revolve around cancer just to make up for the lost amount of discussion on his favorite topic from yesterday's show.

At any rate, yesterday's show revolved around making yourself feel better about yourself by changing only a few things. Not diet. Not losing weight. Not even exercising. ARE YOU AS SHOCKED AS I AM??? This was on HIS show!

Three women were guests, all plus size models. Sizes 12, 14, and 16. Beautiful women, all comfortable in their bodies. And all focusing, not on their flaws but, on their favorite assets.

Anyway, the thing that stuck out the most to me about these women is that they were healthy. They all worked out regularly, ate healthy diets, and had a healthy self-esteem. They weren't concerned with losing those last 10 lbs, or dropping 6 pant sizes. They didn't even seem to worry about what Dr. Oz might say. Cause we all know he usually says something about weight (it causes cancer!)

This episode had me glued. I was hooked on their every word. Watching the body language. Listening to them talk. I was convinced that even women who aren't size 6 are beautiful! A new concept to me. Trust me, it's new to me!

I have struggled with my weight as long as I can remember. I wasn't necessarily "fat" in high school, but was no where near the size of my thin and petite cohorts in school. The "pretty" girls. Even still to this day, they are thin and gorgeous. But for some reason my experience in high school created this unrealistic, and sometimes untrue, idea of beauty.

Yes we all strive to look and feel our best. But why do I feel like my best isn't good enough?

As I watched these three women on the TV it clicked. Being comfortable in your skin is all the matters. As long as you live and lead a healthy lifestyle, size doesn't necessarily matter. I'm not a twig, and likely will never be a size 6. But I realize that I am me.

My body is not the same as the person next door, or the girls I went to high school with. My body was curvy and I had red hair. At the time, I felt awkward and ugly. I had freckles, glasses, but no braces .. no need to add to that weird stage of teenage years. But my awkward feelings have grown into my adulthood.

Learning to love my body with all it's attributes is hard. I carry battle wounds (stretchmarks) from giving life to two beautiful children. I'm starting to get wrinkles around my eyes from age (not that I'm old). Luckily for me I don't have gray hair yet! :) That's a bonus!

But even with all these "bad" things going on with my body, I know that I am healthier now than I have ever been. And when I make goals of losing pounds or decreasing my pant size, I get occupied and consumed with my failures in those endeavors.

I learned something yesterday, I learned that I don't have to be a size 6 or even an 8 or 10 to be the most beautiful me I can be. If I am confident in myself where I stand with my looks now, it won't matter what other women look like. Or what society deems as beautiful. If I am happy and in love with what I see in the mirror, that is all that matters.

By the way, reading my blog does not cause cancer! ;)

Things Happen

Many of you who read this will know nothing about me prior to when we first met. Many will have no idea of the things I did to myself, learned about myself and others, or why I am the way I am. And I'm okay with that.

Even though in conversation I can be fairly forthcoming, I am also very private about the past. I am just that way. I don't air my dirty laundry, I try VERY hard to not bring up past issues, I also try VERY hard to not make people feel guilty about things they have done in the past. I am not perfect, so I know that, at times, I fail and bring up old hurt feelings and experiences.

Today while talking with a friend we were talking about a past experience with me. One that I'm not proud of, and will not hash out on the Internet for discussion. But what I will say is that during our discussion, she made helped me realize that things happen. Good or bad, things happen. The important part is what we took from it.

I know that in my life I have screwed up more times then I can count. I have said much more hurtful things to people than should ever come out of someone's mouth. I have held people accountable for their actions, all the while acting more righteous than my fellow neighbor. But I also know that because it's in the past, it's in the past.

How does one move on from the past? How do we, without conjuring up all those events that determined the direction of our character, live day to day without feeling sad, remorseful, guilty? Why is it so hard to forgive? Ourselves? Others?

On my way home today, I was listening to K-Love as I often do in the car and a music artist by the name of Rhett Miller was co-hosting. He's a Christian singer. He was talking about a time when he took a drive to have it out with God. He was feeling overwhelmed, overbooked, exhausted and unsure of what he was to do with his life. Even though he was married; expecting their first child; a promising music career. Pretty much a pretty solid life by my standards. He was dealing with the past.

His drive took him to the bank of a river where basically God told him "Let me handle the past."

Without knowing any details of my conversation with my friend, you could see how this simple statement from God would have deep impact on anyone dealing with the past.

"Let me handle the past," says God.

Not "process your feelings, confront people, figure out your priorities" ... a simple "Let me handle the past."

The more I say it; the more I type it; the more I realize the truth in that simple statement.

When I heard that statement, especially following a conversation with my friend, I know that God was speaking oh so clearly to me. He heard my concern in my conversation with my friend. He was trying so hard to put the right words in her mouth. I can see it all now. But it didn't click until I was on my way home in my car with the radio on, and a special guest on the station.

The feeling of relief that my God, my Jesus, was going to handle my past for me is one amazing and inspiring emotion. I cannot tell you how much weight I felt lifted off me. I have been dwelling on things I've done as recent as this week and as far back as 12 years. The choices I made before I gave my heart to God. He washed me of all of that June 5, 2011. And a year later I finally understand, Let God handle the past!

Peace

I am Sinner

I did not write that wrong. I am Sinner. I am not perfect. I do not always make the right choices in life. I fight daily to stay calm and not allow my anger to get the best of me. I work everyday to believe that my life is worth something and for purpose.

My life has been around many sad and deserted corners. My heart has been entangled in too many unhealthy things. My mind was once occupied with sadness, hatred, and even distress.

I was dead.

In two days, June 5, I will celebrate life! My "Birth"day of life. My act of obedience to the one that gave me purpose on this Earth. My day that I showed my friends and family of disciples that I am worthy of THIS life. I have PURPOSE! I am once and for all completely and utterly, deep and concentrated, purely and purposely claimed by Jesus!

I am still Sinner! Yet He still claims me as His own. He promises to never leave me. He promises to always be by my side. He promises that life will not be easy, but HE will do it with me!

I am Sinner. But I am HIS!

Too Fast

She is growing up,
But not too fast.
I plan to make each moment last.

She's resilient and confident,
She's bossy and defiant.
I plan to remember each event.

She's smart and friendly,
Wise beyond her years.
This day is bringing me to tears.

She is growing up,
I thought not fast,
But today I realized,
This moment won't last.

My little bright beauty at six years old,
Has so many things in her life I've been told.
She's a leader and a friend and a comforter.

My little girl with her ocean of eyes,
Will always be my little girl,
No matter her size.

Today she leaves her Kindergarten behind,
Tomorrow marks the journey of a different kind,
She is growing up way too fast.
How do I make this moment last?

Forgot Deodorant

Ever have one of those rough nights where your kid won't sleep? Which makes it so you don't sleep. But you need sleep, because the next day beckons your attention. And we all know what happens when Mom doesn't have full attention.

Cereal gets "shared" with the dog.
Toilets gets "plunged."
Dishes get "done."
Breakfast gets "made."
Kids get dressed inside out and backward.
Speed limits become a suggestion.
Mom's hair looks like a bad hair day for Steven Tyler.
Laundry piles up.
Floors don't get swept.
Mail doesn't get sorted ... just thrown away .. only to realize you likely threw away a check that could've been cashed.
Beds don't get made.
TV becomes a babysitter for about the 3.75 minutes of quiet time. Only to wake up in a panic and wonder where the 3 y/o that MUST be supervised at all times has quietly found something entertaining to do with finger nail polish......
Bathing becomes an event that seems too much of an effort.
The leg hairs grow to be measurable.
Deodorant gets forgotten (don't pretend like that hasn't ever happened to you)

And then you still have to make lunch.....

Afternoons seem to go much slower with bickering children. And suddenly you become one of the bickering children only 20+ years older and much heavier with a louder voice and stronger muscles and bigger stomping sounds.

Man it's 1 p.m. and I haven't done anything today.

Disclaimer: This may or may not have all happened this morning. Events listed may have happened during other restless mornings. :)

Confessions of an Accidental Vegetarian

Well, technically I'm not a vegetarian .. I'm a "Pollo-Pescaterian" .. and no that has nothing to do with any sort of religious affiliation. Just means I don't eat any meat except seafood and, occasionally, chicken.

I never set out to become a vegetarian. I have no issues, be it political or emotional, about people consuming meat products. It just kind of happened, because of my dietary restrictions.

I'm also a big texture person. If something has a weird or fleshy texture .... BLECH!!! It makes me gag.

But now that I'm here and I have a title for my eating habits, I am enjoying researching all the possibilities in which this entails! I have mentioned in another post that I have many vegan and vegetarian friends. Some, like me, just decided to eat the way they wanted and don't have really any other motive.

I'm not a member of PETA and I won't send them to your door if you eat a steak! :) I haven't really had moose or caribou, which are big in Alaska. I'm not opposed to trying it either. I figure the less it's processed, the better it will be.

However, now that I'm actually listening and paying attention to what food does to my body, I have found myself with a new title with my eating. And it's interesting.

It has been over a month since I have been super strict about my dietary needs. And, though, only today have I seen the weight loss benefits from that, I started seeing other things within a week. I wasn't as bloated, my stomach wasn't hurting, my headaches had dwindled, my body felt better, my acne was clearing, my hair wasn't as brittle. One would think this way of eating would be a no brainer with all those positive things.

But, let's be honest, not being able to have yogurt, ice cream, a candy bar, a grilled cheese sandwich, and various other comfort foods that are yummy once in a while, just plain downright sucks sometimes. Especially when I really really really want something sweet and I have to settle for a banana! That's crap!

But, if I am feeling better, then it's an easy decision. There have been many moments in the past month that I have just thought to myself, "Oh one won't hurt." Not true.

I know that with one simple bite of cheddar cheese that I will wake up the next morning with the extension of the Rocky Mountains forming on my face. I know that with one slice of pizza I will feel and look nearly 14 months pregnant for a week. I also know that for one intangible split moment of satisfaction from a bite of a chocolate bar I will pay for it with a splitting headache.

I'm a vegetarian .. I mean Pollo-pescetarian by accident. But it is what it is. We all have to eat the ways our bodies are telling us to. God designed us all differently.

Pin It and Forget It

Have you ever heard the "set it and forget it" phrase with the rotisserie oven?? Well That logic today is applying to my experience with Pinterest. I "pin it and forget it."

I haven't been on Pinterest in I don't know how long, but I do know that today when I went on there .. just minutes ago .. I sought out to search for "office organization," only right then did I realize I have a whole entire board dedicated to organization. Go figure.

But what is this habit of putting things on Pinterest and then forgetting about them?? There are AWESOME ideas on there. Many things that are cheap, easy, DIY things, fun things for kids. I see all sorts of statements on Facebook about people saying "I like Pinterest, it makes me feel productive."

Hahahaha it's funny to me, because that's how I feel after an hour or more of getting sucked into the world of pinning. I leave my computer feeling that satisfaction that I've just completed something, even though the moment I step away from the computer I see that I've really only completed a whole bunch of nothing.

I think Pinterest is awesome for encouraging new decor, changing up the routine for playing with the kids. Maybe even suggesting things for savings, exercise, healthy eating that we hadn't thought of before. But what's funny to me is that Pinterest lives and real lives are not mirror images. :)

I'm a much craftier, healthier, more active, completely organized with awesome hobbies, better parent on Pinterest. :) My house on Pinterest is decorated with beautiful linens, furniture, nick-knacks. I have the biggest most functional and cleanest kitchen. My kids rooms are bright, clean, and fun. My yard is one that is designed to entertain. :)

It's AWESOME! :)

Not saying my real life isn't awesome, but I pin it and forget it. It gives me a bit of thrill to climb back into this world of pin boards and images. I wonder if a psychologist has ever picked apart someone's Pinterest board. I could only imagine what they might say about my want for a Range Rover and a 50,000 sq ft home. Not really!!! I don't really want the house, the car yes, the house, not so much.

So as I depart from my pointless blog post to pin more things I'll forget about in my fake world (this sounds a lot like those video games, but for stay at home moms), I will be organizing my office on Pinterest. :)

Peace out!

Dairy Free Me

Since embracing my new ways of eating (by force) I have found a new love in new creations. And I think, so has my family. I am allergic to cow's milk, all it's preservatives, baker's yeast, and sesame. Like in a really bad way. Well not the way that would put me in the hospital, but in a way that makes my life and Aaron's very miserable. :)

So in order to make sure my belly isn't starving and my mood isn't swinging for lack of food, I've taken on the experimental way of cooking and food prep.

My mom was always making up weird things to feed us when we were growing up. I don't think we ever really ate the same thing twice in a month. Okay, maybe a month, but still. She'd see something on the TV or in a magazine and think to herself, "I can do that." It was like playing Russian Roulette sometimes. :)

Now, I don't necessarily cook or bake in that way, I do see a recipe that is loaded with a bunch of "no-nos" for me and I attempt to figure out how to make it my way. I also have several friends that have had to adapt recipes for their own families, not to mention the many vegan/vegetarian friends I have that have been so awesome in suggestions for me. I am not vegan, though I do love some of the vegan recipes I have come across.

At any rate, I am on a wrap kick lately. I love wraps. Mainly because I can have tortillas. Well not all of them, but the two brands I do buy I can have! Because bread is out for me, except for one brand my friend, Amber, found for me, I have grown to love more like obsess over tortillas. Taco Loco, a brand made locally in Anchorage is my favorite. But I've also found Tumaro's Organic Tortillas, especially the Spinach and Garden Vegetable one (YUM YUM!!!).

Changing my diet to really be honest and reflective of my body's needs has not been easy. Ask anyone that I am around regularly. I have bitterness in my heart that I cannot partake of my beloved Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Especially the holiday shaped ones. Those always taste so much better. :)

But I feel so much better when I don't eat the things I'm not supposed to. Not giving into the cheesecake at MOPS what a mean trick =) wasn't easy. But I know my belly thanked me later in the day when I gave it an organic dairy free peanut butter cookie!

This transition has only been made easy for me because my awesome hubby is so supportive and willing to try anything. He's even adapted some of his favorite recipes for me!

What are your favorite food things you've had to adapt or change to fit dietary restrictions?