Santa Stranger Danger

This afternoon we participated in an event that is traditional to families with kids involving an old man dressed in a red velvet suit with a long white beard and a hat. The only body part visible to children is his eyes. I can see how visiting Santa Claus would frighten a two year old.

However, my daughter had only a small attack of the shybies and was able, very slowly, to spit out her hearts desires for Christmas, quietly muttering something about a vanity, fake cat, and dolls. Then Santa glanced at me assuring her that a couple of those things could be under our tree Christmas morning. Great .. now I gotta go buy more stuff! :)

Meanwhile, Mason was standing, staring at the man in complete fear at a safe distance of 10 or so feet back. When it came time for him to tell Santa what he wanted for Christmas he kept his safe distance and repeated whatever Kara was whispering in his hear. Something about a Ladybug Pillow Pet. Say what???

At any rate, he did, for a brief moment step forward to retrieve a candy cane from Santa while bolting away as fast as he could. Then once again as he was safe distance from the Santa, proceeded to stare at him. Only to fret when I forced BEGGED him to take a picture with Santa. Mason did compromise by sitting on Aaron's knee while leaning dramatically away from Santa.

When I think about all the children that scream and throw fits when parents put them on Santa's knee for a holiday picture and then put into perspective the camouflaged issues of his clothing with only the peering eyes, yeah that scares me too! What is it about Santa Stranger Danger that frightens so many kids? And, yet, we as parents INSIST on violating those natural instincts of survival by forcing our children to interact with someone they do not know. LOL It's quite humorous I guess.

Anyway, here is a collage of the event. Enjoy and Merry Christmas!

Not So Common Public Knowledge

I have been debating for some time as to whether or not make this public knowledge, but I've come to the conclusion, that it is something I need to let anyone know who wants to make, send, or buy me edible gifts.

I found out in July that I have a severe cow's milk, baker's yeast and sesame allergy. This is probably shocking to a lot of people, as you can imagine how learning this information was extremely shocking to me. And it dramatically effected my grocery lists and bill.

I haven't been diligent AT ALL with sticking to a diet that removes all these things and their derivatives until as of late, when my migraines, stomach issues and acne reappeared and said .. "okay .. you wanna eat this stuff .. we'll make you a deal and just hang about." Yeah I'm so not okay with looking like I'm going through puberty all over again.

It's been a learning experience for me. I have realized that I don't need to eat anything that contains those things. For a long time I felt deprived, angry, and most frequently, HUNGRY! You wouldn't believe how incredibly hard it is to find foods that are 100% cow's milk free .. I'm talking even preservative free. Even soy and almond cheese alternatives have sodium caseinate in them which is a milk protein. I have become fond of goat cheese as an alternative. Soo...

At any rate, I never wanted to discuss this because I get so tired of people always complaining about their health issues, allergies, or what have you. I just usually refuse whatever it is that has the milk component and find a more fresh, less tainted item to eat. It really is amazing the difference I feel when I don't eat foods with those three items.

I'd like to say in closing, PLEASE don't treat me like a freak when I say "No, thank you" to your 5 star cheesecake or your yummy yummy creamed soups! They are my favorite.

Peace!

I write poetry! AHAHAH

SAHM ADD

Dirty socks and underwear,
Laundry is my burden to bare.
Groceries, snacks and meals that fill,
Oh, crap! Did I pay that bill??

Endless errands to get done,
Bandage up that little bruised thumb.
Sweep and mop and vacuum the floor,
PLEASE DON'T SLAM THAT BEDROOM DOOR!!!

Children that run and laugh and play,
Make Mondays seem Okay.
Bathtime, storytime, bedtime, YES!!
Now I can sit and rest.

Wait... leaving dishes in the sink,
Will really make my morning stink.
Kitchen cleaned, time to sit,
Really wish I knew how to knit.

My stay-at-home days are numbered too few,
And are going by fast with all I do.
I am a loud and proud Stay-At-Home Mom,
EW!! That diaper was a bomb!

Hair Touching or HAIRassing!! AHAHAHA

Something has been sticking out at me the past .. oh say 30 odd years .. something bright, vibrant, noticeable, and it's something that EVERYONE has to comment on. Can you guess what it is???? OH yeah .. my hair color! :)
I've been a red head since birth, and while I do love my hair, I can remember a time in my life that I didn't care for being a redhead. The truth is, red hair is somewhat a phenomenon. So does this make me a phenomenon?!?! Heck yeah! Which is why I'm so awesome, right??? Just agree and go with me on this!
I have a few redheaded friends that are gorgeous women. My sister and brother and few cousins are redheads (runs in the family). My grandpa was lovingly called "Red" and not because of his rosy cheeks after a glass or two of Wild Turkey. :) Love you gramps!
The truth is that red hair is a show stopper. Women pay hundreds of dollars to dye their hair red, all the while, a true redhead can point out dyed red hair. ;) Oh yeah .. we know girls. You can't fake it.
You know, I have dyed my hair twice in my life .. like ALL of my hair. And it was always a darker shade of red. I never sought out to actually "change" my hair color. Cause I love it.
I'm sure you wondering if there's a point to this blog. No worries, I'm wondering the same thing. HAHAHA!
I know that when people comment on my hair, they are doing it with the best of intentions, but sometimes, very rarely, am I wondering if they are going to stalk me in my sleep and scalp me. No no .. just kidding. .. er wait .. no I'm serious.
I bring this topic up because I have a friend who has aweseomely beautifully styled hair all the time, and recently she was at a shopping mall where some creeper touched her hair. I can totally relate to the creeper. I want to touch her hair all the time. HOWEVER, I value having ALL 10 of my fingers connected to my hand.
Anyway, I know what she felt when she was weirded out (and somewhat annoyed) at the touching of the hair. This is my whole life. People always want to touch my hair. WHY!?!? I don't get it. I mean, I could have been suffering from lice that day or something. Seriously.
The point is, even though people have beautiful hair, don't touch it. It's wrong on so many levels. Not to mention most women have spent countless seconds perfecting exactly where that specific hair you are touching is being positioned. And because you thought it was okay to touch said hair .. you've now messed up the positioning.
In closing, if you really want red hair .. you will really have to pay a pretty penny to get it perfectly dyed. Maroon hair does not look good on anyone. Well maybe that one person, but typically not really on anyone.

Cheers!

Turning 30.

For the past couple weeks (maybe even months if we really want to look into this) I've been fretting this upcoming birthday of turning 30. I've never stressed over a birthday before, and I hope I never do again. It's not that I don't like getting older, because that doesn't bother me. It was more of a dwelling in the past and of missed opportunities or misguided decisions. Now, for some letting go of the past is easy. It's not for me. I remember every event, every emotion, and usually every person involved.

Today, I was having a conversation with a friend. And he said to me, "Some things are simply lost in the past and we cannot retrieve them." Now this may have been said to me before, but it never clicked. I've had several conversations with a few friends about why turning 30 is bothering me so much, unable to pinpoint the reason. The truth is, there were many reasons, which would explain why it was so hard to narrow down the exact reason.

I realized today that I have a very beautiful and awesome life. It's not that I didn't already KNOW this, it's just that I never ACCEPTED it. My marriage is strong, my kids are awesome, my health is perfect (minus some few extra pounds I'm still working on losing), my friends are great. I really have a great life. I wasn't necessarily seeking a differently life through this problem with turning 30, but more of recollecting the decisions that were life defining.

I remember when my cousin, Dawn, was about to turn 20 and she was beside herself about leaving her teen years, and I didn't get what the big deal was. LOL We were living together and it was somewhat humorous to me, at the time, that she was so stressed about it. I get it now.

Changing years is a lot like changing pages in a book you've never read before. You have an idea of what might come next, but you cling to what you know in order to soften the unexpected blows. Like reading a love novel and you turn to the next chapter and suddenly the damsel is hurt in a car wreck .. OR .. watching a movie about a broken family and then they rekindle and everything is right with the world. Getting older in life is no different.

We all know what we've done, where we've been and the choices we've made. It isn't until we get older that we see how all these choices were domino effects on our life. I'm not old, or wise, but I'm starting to understand how one decision could've changed my whole life. Or many decisions. At times, I've sat and regretted some opportunities missed and some choices that were made. In doing this it only caused inner conflict and turmoil with my current and most awesome life. Dwelling on the past of yays and nays is not a good way to spend ones upcoming 30th birthday.

My goal for my 30th birthday, and for the rest of my life, is to always look forward and be grateful for the day I am given. I cannot change what did or didn't happen in the past. I can, however, appreciate what I have and use every minute I am given to be the person I was born and meant to be.

So in two days, when I change to a whole new set of numbers, it's not going to be a day of remorse for the things I missed out on, or the bad things I did. It's going to be a day of celebration of what's to come. Of adventures not yet sought. Of experiences I haven't yet felt. Of a life that I have, want, and love!

Peace.

Halloween ta-dahs

So this year the kids dressed up for Halloween, because kids like to do that. Aaron and I did not participate in the dressing up festivities, but instead relished in the delight and fun through our kids' eyes. I really appreciate the innocence and excitement over such little things as miniature candies and random toys that will break within the first 24-hour period of ownership. But the miniature candies do not excite me. No, you know what would get me excited about Halloween?? Trick-or-treating and getting a pillow case full of king size candy bars. Yeah .. that would make me dress up! :)

Anyway, our kids were dressed up as a princess (Kara) and Nacho from "Nacho Libre" (Mason). He was often confused with being Superman and I think, though I'm not sure, that him wearing his red underwear outside of his blue tights might be the cause of the confusion. But when comparing the following two pictures. you'll see the resemblance when the mustache and eye brows are considered.

Mason as "Nacho"

My son LOVES the movie "Nacho Libre." If you haven't seen it and you are a Jack Black fan .. you really should see this movie. :)

Kara, my beautiful princess, was once again a Princess this year for Halloween. She loves Halloween and the dressing up aspect of it. She looked like a princess with her crown and beautiful dress.

Now onto our busy November with three birthdays and a holiday all in one month! :)

Hope you had a fun Halloween!

Peace.

Kallas Family Update

We had Kara's Kindergarten Parent-Teacher Conference today. She is  doing exceptional in Kindergarten. Her teacher, Ms. Turner, says that in all meanings of the kindergarten grades, Kara is a straight A student. This makes us incredibly proud to know that her hard work at home is paying off in the school. Ms. T is also putting Kara into the new enrichment reading program with the librarian for advanced readers. Kara reads at an end kindergarten beginning first grade level with fluency and comprehension, which also makes us very proud. I'm glad they are offering such a program at her school. She is also one of the peer leaders in her class that Ms. T has determined to help the lower performing kids. Of course, both Aaron and I appreciate and understand how this helps Kara and the student she is paired with. In all, we are proud of our little girl and her performance at school. She is also thriving in art. She loves to paint, draw, cut, paste, anything that has to do with art. I see a little artist in our future.

Mason is growing like a weed. His vocabulary development is crazy. Everyday he's picked up a new phrase and uses is like a pro. He loves to rough house, build blocks, play with cars, throw balls and play catch. He is our little athlete and true boy to the core. He loves helping in big sister's class and occasionally likes shopping with me. Mainly when I remember to bring snacks. LOL He runs crazy all day and sleeps soundly at night. I often think I should take on his workout routine. =)

Aaron is working hard as ever. Doing part-time teaching with the Anchorage School District, part-time curriculum development for the ASD and part-time teacher to teacher training with the University of Alaska Fairbanks. He's always been a go getter. I am so proud of his accomplishments and how hard he works to provide for his family.

I am most days loving being home with my  monsters. I learn so much from them. I also am enjoying all the mom-to-mom outreach I get to participate in. God has truly entrusted me with this ability to mentor, advise, and counsel many moms. I could not do any of that without God. The moms I meet on a regular basis provide me with so much education in my own mothering skills. I have so many friends that are here in Alaska supporting me and there when I need them. Life is amazing here! =)

Our hairy son, Mo, is 7. It's hard to believe that we got him almost 7 years ago as a pup. He's more active and fun lately than he has been in recent years. He is fun to play with. He's protective and he's excitable. The other 23 hours a day he sleeps. ;) hahaha JUST KIDDING!

Well that's kind of a wrap up of our life in Alaska right now. We recently had some family portraits done. I'll blog that experience later. But I am impressed with the photographer I found. Her name is Tammy Smith and she owns Tammy Smith Photography. You can check out her work on her Web site

http://www.TammySmithPhotography.com . 

Peace.

Am I really going to Potty Train a BOY!?!?!?!

The next step in my toddler's little short lived life is potty training. Oh I am so not looking forward to this. Kara was difficult to potty train. I had NO IDEA what I was doing, how to do it, when to do it, WHY to do it!!!! :) It was a stressful time. LOL

So yesterday, as Aaron and I were discussing my need to purchase more diapers, he says (and I quote) "WE need to potty train Mason." Yes he said WE, but we all know he meant ME. When looking at this word in writing it's easy to see that he simply just got the "W" upside down and he really meant an "M" but not HIM ... me ... and what he really meant to say was "YOU need to potty train Mason." He meant that I really needed to do it and then said that he was looking forward to the day when he came home from work and didn't have to swipe poopy diapers off the garage step in order to get into the house.

WHAT!?!?!?!?

THAT is what he is looking forward to!!! That's the most insane reasoning for potty training I have ever heard. So I entertain him and this "we" he has thrown out there and proceeded to list reasons why HE should be the one to potty train Mason. The main one being I have different plumbing. =) I know that's about as logical as his "poopy diapers on the step" reason, but hey, a girl's gotta have a reason to debate when the "WE" has been thrown into the court as a playing card. =)

At any rate, I thought about this potty training business, and the fact that I know that I will be the one that does it, but I'm completely gun shy. My last round with potty training was only successful when I took Kara on a trip to see family and my aunt put to good use her experience and potty trained Kara in the two weeks we were in Las Vegas. Hey I wonder if she'll come here for a visit and potty train Mason for me?!?!?!

What is your experience with potty training boys? How did you do it? What failed you? HELP!?!?!?!

Peace!

Let It Be

When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.

Let it be, let it be, .....

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, ..... 


 Sometimes The Beatles are the exact advice that we seek.

Mid-Morning Escapades

Ever feel like you are alone in the mothering days when at the store? I am sure that I am not the only one out there with a 2 y/o that likes to saunter through the store as if to own it. And then when he comes in contact with another person of his size he and s/he exchange words that even the finest linguist wouldn't be able to decipher. I think they are planning to take over the candy aisle. Then every time we pass this other toddler in the store, they exchange knowingly glances and giggles and wave. Sometimes even reaching out to each other for high fives.

If adults did this, we'd be jailed. I mean, could you imagine the exchange in secret code at the grocery store, then the glances, high fives. Either jailed or admitted. That or people would avoid you. I'm just sayin.

At any rate, children in stores get away with the silliest of behaviors that have been deemed by the old people as cute. I take Mason shopping only in the morning because there are less people for him to give his secrets to. And he can wander through the store like a "big kid" without me worrying if he's going to bother others. The only other people in the store at that time are construction workers getting some carb refills and little old ladies pushing carts that out weigh them. A topic for another discussion. Why is it that the carts of massive size are the ones that the little old ladies pick???


Anyway, Mason keeps me hopping through the store, playing peek-a-boo and discussing the meaning of life with the other little people there, because their mothers probably also realized it's much easier to shop in the mid-morning with them. 


I have one piece of advice for you with toddlers, shop in the mid-morning. EVERYWHERE! :)


Peace.

Mawwage is what bwings us togevah, today.

"Mawwage is what bwings us togevah today. Wuv .. sweet wuv..." LOL whenever I think of marriage I automatically think of the wedding scene in the "Princess Bride." It cracks me up. But it makes complete sense too. Aaron and I have been married 6.5 years and in that time we've learned A LOT about each other, and still are learning things about each other. I'm going to preface this blog with a disclaimer; I am not a psychologist or therapist. I have not been paid to write this blog. I am not a marital bliss professional. I have only  made assumptions and conclusions based on careful observations.

When I think about people getting married two main things pop into my head. 1) They must love each other; or 2) She is pregnant. Yes, I know that sounds very judgmental, but those are two of the only reasons I can think of anyone getting married in our culture. Marriage is so obsolete these days with all the celebrities getting married then getting divorced, or our neighbors, friends, family. It doesn't seem to have it's value anymore. It's a "stepping" stone of sorts. The appeal is only to combine two peoples' fortunes, or because "Well we've been through a lot together, I guess it's the next step." What happened to the intimacy, the romance? Where's the love in marriage anymore?

The definition of intimacy is 1: the state of being intimate : familiarity 2: something of a personal or private nature. Our relationships are exposed to every corner of the world. We have so many social networking Web sites to determine if people are in a relationship, married, single, divorced. We have cell phones that can text the details of an argument in an instant. We can call anyone anywhere at any given time and expose the dearest details of our friends or family member's most private issues. Intimacy is gone. Bringing it back is important in a marriage. I love my husband. I love that when I look at him, I know that our private lives are private. I can trust that he isn't going to expose my secrets to anyone, and he can trust me. I know that when I am with him, he loves me for who and what I am, regardless of my hormonal state. Now that's something. Women are hormonal, don't shake your head like you are perfect. Cause if you are female, and you have ovaries .. you are hormonal. And our men, put up with it. WHY?

This brings me to the point about closeness. When I am frustrated with Aaron, I don't run to my friends necessarily and expose my issues with him. I have to think them through. Am I wrong? Is he? What am I frustrated about? The truth is, when I am close with Aaron, my frustrations are minor. When I am with him, being close to him feels natural. When I allow minor issues to build into a mountain and put that wedge between us, I feel less close to him. And it's not his fault that my perspective is screwed up. It's mine. We are in a relationship together. Not just him, not just me. I would've left myself a long time ago. But we are close. Not just in proximity, but emotionally.

Which brings me to experiences. We all have issues in our marriages. My marriage is no different. It's not been perfect, but it's been mine and Aaron's. And we own it. Every miscommunication, every misunderstanding, every good time and bad. We did that together. We experienced it all together. Our experiences have made our relationship strong. When you are experiencing life together, you understand each other. You learn from each other. Even if your perspectives are different, you're growing together. You can't go through your marriage as if you are bystander. You are an important part. You are required to give your whole self to your partner. This is the person you've chosen to experience life with. And you are suppose to do it without expecting the same in return. Look that may seem a bit off key to some, but the truth is .. your partner will never give you back what you gave to them because they are not you! He or she can give you what HE or SHE can give you. And you take it with gratitude. If you are going through these experiences expecting magical fairy tales, it'll never add up. You build a relationship together being who you are, and accepting one another for that.


I can't tell you how many conversations I've had in the past six years while I've been married with friends who are married. Some now divorced. It always amazes me at how selfish one can be in a relationship. You don't go into a relationship expecting that you will be the one getting all the gold. You fall in love and care for someone to give them all your gold. Why is it when times are tough, or situations are rough, we start lashing about the things that were never given to us? If I look at my marriage honestly, I know that there have been times that I have been completely selfish, not loving Aaron for exactly the man he was, is and always will be. 
Changing this is hard, but it is possible. I'm not an "experienced married person." But I do know what selfishness looks like! Be grateful for the man or wife in your life! You chose them for a reason. And if you can't remember why you chose them, try to find new reasons to choose them!

Peace.

Joy

In light of my newest family member, my nephew Ethan born today, it got me thinking about when my kids were born. As such events do for mothers. I remember holding Kara for the first time. I remember her smiles, her scent, the sound of her cry. I remember my labor, the doctors, nurses. The panic when one nurse ripped an in-progress IV from my left hand to bolt from the room for an emergency c-section on a baby who's heart had stopped.

I remember my doctor yelling at the nurses for paging him wrong, missing the delivery, but being extremely thankful that I had such an awesome nurse to "catch" Kara as she entered the world strong and vibrant. She was my firstborn. The whole experience is vivid. She changed everything about me. She was such a blessing.

A first child is exhilarating and exhausting at the same time. You really don't know what to expect until you are in the thick of it. It's so much different than you ever expect. If there's anything I can tell my sister it's that this time, the next few weeks of adjustment, are only temporary. Looking past those few tiring weeks is an amazing experience as a mom. The child that has been given to her and Thomas was chosen for them. They were perfectly designed to parent him. He will be their son and will show them the love that God has for them. Unconditional.

Being a mom for the first time is exciting.

Autumn Themed Placemat Craft

I love this time of year! I love the scents, the crisp autumn air. I love the decorations that are used to show our change in seasons. I also love how everyone always seems to have a cheer about them. This time of year gets my creative juices flowing for crafts. And being an organizer for a mom's group here, I get to create and put to use my craft for other to do.

My new idea was to create fall theme place mats. It was fun. My kids collected leaves from outside, I pulled out some crafting paper, glue and the laminator and away we went.

 Kara absolutely loves doing crafts. And doing one today with the windy cold air outside was a perfect "indoor" activity. She also loved that she got to use the leaves she raked up from outside.

 Mason is a lot like me with crafts. He has Arts and Crafts ADD. I also suffer from this illness on most days. But I was pretty jazzed about this craft.

I did go one step further and made matching napkin holders. I thought the whole process was fun. See there's a lot you can do with the leaves outside. So next time when you grunt about raking up the durn leaves, maybe save a few and create a fun activity for the kids! :)

One thing I would change .. I will let the glue dry before laminating. :)

Peace.

"Oh GOSH!"

I think that raising a two-year-old boy has its benefits. My son's vocabulary is growing by leaps and bounds, and everyday he is more and more understandable, putting together three and four-word phrases that make complete sense. Like for instance, this morning when he was in his room, ready to wake up and leave his room, he was at his door saying "Mommy, open my door."

One might ask why he doesn't open his door himself. I'll explain. See when he figured out how to open doors, we couldn't keep him in his room at night. Well this all took place while I was on a nine-day mommy vacay in May. So I guess, Aaron couldn't keep him in his room. So he purchased those doorknob things, you know the ones that go over the doorknobs to keep children out of rooms. Well Aaron put one inside Mason's room to keep him in. Only, Mason was able to get the knob detractor thingy ma bobber off. Soooo, what's the only logical thing to do .... duck tape it on there. So he can't get out of his room. I'm pretty confident that we are the not the first parents to block our children in their rooms for somewhat peaceful sleep.

Just don't shut the door when you are in the room with him. It's a pain in the neck to try to open. =)

At any rate, I digress to the new phrases he is picking up. So this morning we got home after dropping Kara off at school and he wanted to watch "Toy Story." I said, "No, but I think Cat in the Hat is on......" I wasn't confident in this scenario, nor how it was going to play out. Boys are strong-willed and stubborn, or at least mine is. He puts his hands on his knees and says as he's walking toward the family room "Ohhh, gossshhh, Momma."

This is his new thing when he's conceding but not all the way. Everyday I get about five or 10 "Oh, Gosh, Momma's." It's quite cute and hilarious. He keeps me hopping!

Peace.

A bit of frustration.

It's one of those "Ah ha" moments that you realize that a certain habit has created a little too much drama in your life. Well that's where I'm at with Facebook. I used it as a tool to keep in contact with people. I created photo albums so family and friends could watch our life unfold in Alaska. I even added and deleted somewhere around 600 friends. Down to 258 at this point. And 80% of them are family. So, I ask myself, I said "Self, why do you keep your Facebook? Why open yourself up to all the wonders of drama and misinterpreted jokes?" And I answered "I'm addicted."

Yep, folks, I have an addiction to FB. And over the past 2ish years my addiction has gotten more and more consuming. I'm on my phone, on TWO computers at one time in two different rooms in my house, glancing at it when I get the chance at someone else's house, and to make matters worse, I started posting more and more private matters. FB became like my "home away from home" when I was needing to escape from whatever my task was at hand.

Recently, a "friend" reposted a conversation I had had on my FB page with other "friends." He so politely posted it on a Left Wing FB page with some inaccurate information and only, of course, posting the part of the conversation that deemed him a Left Wing Hero. He so politely left my first name and picture posted with the conversation and then claimed my husband was out of work and I was a journalist.

Let's be clear here about one thing, I don't care if my conversations are copied, pasted, re-posted, whatever. The insulting parts were that my picture -- meaning my face -- was still attached with my first name. And let's just clear a few other things up while we're at it. I am no longer a journalist. I worked in radio and newspaper for five years. Was disgusted and disgruntled by the fact that I was UNABLE to speak or print my own opinion OR keep what I was editing unbiased if it went with what the media was portraying. The media is biased, people. Believe it or not, I don't care. I switched gears and got a new degree in elementary education, sought a new course for my life. So get that right, you left-winged bigot. And 2) my husband is not an "out-of-work teacher." He is actually progressing, working hard for everything he earns, and is able, because of his hard work, to provide for his family and allow me to be a stay at home mom!

Now I'm not usually an angry person, but I cannot STAND when people feel like it's their place to bring people or families down. Get a grip society, we will only be as good as the worst. Don't be the person that brings everyone down. It's OKAY to have different opinions. It's okay to make mistakes, regroup and come back. And believe me, it's OKAY to defend yourself, your family, and your integrity.

Peace.

Children and Scary Movies and Stories

Children, scary movies, and scary stories do not mingle well. This is a true story about a girl. She is 5. As she sat on a trampoline listening to an older child telling a story about a woman with bloody fingers. This little girl believed that this person with the bloody fingers existed. Told me all about this woman. Then she went to a sleepover at a friends house.

The next day her dad let her watch "The Willies." Now while to a grown person, this movie seems silly and most definitely unrealistic in every sense of the word, this 5 y/o girl could only handle about 25 minutes of the movie and turned it off in tears! I, of course, calm the girl (which if you haven't figured out yet, it's Kara). She is freaked out about bathrooms now.

Children and scary movies and stories do not go together. Their imaginations are too big and vast and creative at this age. They can see and hear anything and bring it to life. When I was putting Kara to bed, she told me that there wasn't monsters in her room or our house, they were in her head. So smart she is to understand that these things do not REALLY exist, but that they do in her head.

We had a talk about the power of her brain and thoughts. And that she has control over those scary thoughts. We prayed. I thought for sure she was going to pee her bed last night, seeing that her fear of the bathroom was overwhelming for her. Scary stories and movies have a deep impact on young children. As a mom, I feel responsible for what is being processed in their little minds. I feel a need to protect them, harness their innocence, and ensure their safety.

Safety involves things like what they think about. I'll be more cautious now, when I look outside to see a circle of children listening to a story. And my girl will not be watching ANY scary movies (even the ones deemed innocent enough) for a very long time.

Peace

Clean rooms and education....

As a mom, I strive to teach my children everything. Like reading, writing, playing, sharing, being nice to others, taking responsibility, helping, etc. I think this is essential in parenting. There's no handbook that gives you direct information on how to do this, or what to do if you battle. Cause you bet I'd have that handbook read cover to cover about 10 times. Either way, I find teaching my children responsibility the biggest challenge of all.

As a teacher, I am very aware of the correlation of home responsibilities and school performance. Studies show that students that are given chores, responsible for the condition of their bedroom (in early elementary years) and help around the house with other things, perform better in school. They are more responsible with their homework, behavior in class, demeanor around other students, and listening skills. Organized learning environments coincide with a structured home environment. Of course there are exceptions to all the rules. But typically this is the norm.

Where does this leave me? Between a rock and a hard place!!! :) As I ponder my daughter's impending first year of elementary school, I wonder if I've done enough to teach her responsibility. I know that she will academically perform, but that is only one aspect in life. Socially performing is a whole 'nother gamut. A structured home environment is my ultimate goal, only slight of controlling. Trust me, I've lightened up! ;)


I'm not a mom that requires her toys be put in the exact spot I've allocated for them. Now if I'm cleaning her room, they will go where I deem they should. However, if she's doing it, I'm not going to complain if she has her doll and dressup bins interchangeable. We go through her room about once every couple weeks to reorganize and get her stuff separated. She's definitely getting better at sorting her toys. She likes being able to find her things when she wants to play with them. But getting her to do it on her own is a HUGE challenge. She does have one chore so far. She's responsible for cleaning her bathroom and the downstairs half-bath every Monday. She does a darn good job! But when it comes to her room, she whines, cries, fights, and eventually just does it.

I think it's a confidence builder as well. She feels proud of herself when she cleans her own room. And that is where requiring your kids to have home responsibilities will help them at school. Little successes like clean rooms, bathrooms, or other home responsibilities flow into the confidence with classroom performance and academia.

Peace.

Staring at Strangers

Do you ever wonder why it's okay for children to stare at random people and not adults? Mason did just that today at dinner. We went to our local grease pit, The Noisy Goose, for a good ol' fashion heart attack on plate meal and Mason just STARED! It seemed though that when we would try to get him to stop it drew more attention the fact that he was staring at everyone.

I mean I'm personally interested in all those people too. If I could stare and not get dirty looks I would. But I would most definitely draw the line at the cutesy phrases and hand gestures that people do to him as he's staring. Okay maybe I would accept the cutesy hand gestures. Those are much better than the more volatile hand gestures one could give. I guess the smiling faces would be okay too, because the dirty looks would just add to the weirdness of the situation if I were staring.

Not to mention that when Mason stares, he points, yells, and sometimes throws food. Yes, even at random people. But the catch at dinner tonight wasn't even Mason. No it came from my own daughter. Yes even 5 year olds still stare, AT THE OBVIOUS. A fellow with a lazy eye was sitting in the booth in front of us, quietly looking at his menu with one eye and the other eye .. well it wasn't. And she, in all of her innocence and with a very audible tone said, "What's he staring at???"

Peace.

Screaming Monkeys

It's not often that someone can say they've been around and/or lived with screaming monkeys. And to be quite honest, I'm not sure why anyone would CHOOSE to live in such a volatile environment where the noise level is beyond the recommended decibels by the FDA and all doctor associations. However, in this circumstance, I don't have a choice. :)

Mason is a screaming monkey. He is seriously one of the loudest children I have EVER come across. I know this could be blamed on simple breeding patterns and then one might blame the parents. But I happen to know the parents, very well. They are for sure not screaming monkeys. Something must have happened in the incubation period somewhere between birth and handing him to his momma. Perhaps he was exposed to a rare form of bacteria that changes the genetic components of his body??? There could be argument for this. Scientific arguments. I may have to research this.

This morning while he was eating, mixing, playing with his breakfast, Mason was screeching a pitch that shouldn't be audible by mankind. Though I definitely could hear it, it drove my Mo-dog NUTS!! He started howling along with Mason.  I am not completely sure how this noise did not wake my sleeping daughter. I'm very sure that the noise coming out of Mason's mouth could make the likes of Mariah Carey look like she's singing bass. :)

The amazing thing is, he is understandable while using his high pitch ranges. You most definitely can make out a screeching "MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMAAAAA!!!!!" Oh yah, for sure. Perhaps that is the ONLY word he can screech at that level. I don't know. But what I do know is I am going to invest in some headphones to mute the noise.

Peace.

Run Like the Wind

Well I must admit that I've not been too diligent in my blogging because there are a lot of things going on my head, none of which are related to one another. However, I am super excited about my first real race tomorrow. I am still undecided about whether I'll do the full 5K or just do the easy flat 3K. The 5K doesn't seem to intimidating until you look at the hill involved with the third mile on this route. However, I may just do it to prove to myself I can. Who knows?!?!

At any rate, I'm also very nervous. I've never been a runner .. ever  .. in my whole life, except for the 90 ft between bases or when someone or something is chasing me. =) I remember failing miserably in 9th grade during our endurance test, which was 9 or something laps around the track. I remember watching a classmate just push through and run every single lap. I remember getting finished in 45 minutes versus the 20 minutes it took the rest of the class (except for a couple girls that did the walking with me). I wasn't overly over weight yet at that age, but I just didn't care for running. And then because I finished in such a crappy time, I got 4 extra laps from the PE teacher as punishment for doing things so slowly. That's logical, right??

The reason I enjoy running now is because it's a great mind clearer. I have a lot going on. With all the hats I wear on a daily basis I can get pretty bogged down mentally, and running seems to be the only way to clear my head pretty quickly. I love to run fast. And the faster I run the quicker I get my distance covered. Fast for me though, it actually quite slow for seasoned runners. Running brings me closer to the sounds and motions and functions of all the muscles in my body. Just when I think my muscles can't bounce another step, they do.

Every time I run my 2ish mile route in my neighborhood (with the dreadful hill) I round the last corner toward my house and pull out every ounce of energy I have left.

I think that as time goes on and I prepare for other races, I'm hoping to add the diligent eating habits that typically accompany a healthy exercising lifestyle. :) That training starts next Monday. However, I'm looking to get through tomorrow. If I do the 3K, I'd like to finish in 20 or so minutes. If I do the 5K I'd like to finish in under 40 minutes. You might say .. "Why are you adding 20 minutes for an extra 1.3ish miles?" Well my fellow reader, I've been told .. that last mile on your first 5k .. is tough! LOL .. I'm shooting for the moon here, hoping to land among the stars. LOL Cheesy I know. 

Anyways, enough rambling!

Peace.

My Journey with Jesus

So, I've been thinking, praying, thinking some more, and then praying a lot. I don't really recall a time in my life when I've been so convicted with prayer and asking for mercies, or actually thanking Jesus for the many many blessings in my life. I, quite honestly, would do the "Thank you God for ...... -Amen." There's nothing really wrong with that, but it wasn't so personal or meaningful. I mean I'm really thankful for all the blessings in my life, but the last few months, I've been truly and utterly thankful and have become completely aware of how the Lord is working in my life. Granted, I don't know everything that is planned for me, my family, or what the future holds. But I know this, I know that whatever our future brings, the Lord provides the means and the direction.

This isn't easy to say, but I'm not perfect in my following of Jesus. But the fact is I'm striving to follow Him, in all ways. And some things completely frighten me. However, I feel this sense of anxiousness if I don't do it. We all come to this point in our lives, if we do, at a different pace. I thought along time ago my journey would be rapid, because I was raised going to church, Sunday School, participating in youth group, etc. So I had a basic knowledge of Christ, Faith, Grace, Love, etc. But in reality, I never opened myself up to a true and meaningful relationship with Him.

This journey, though somewhat personal, has been an interesting one. I thought that when I felt the heart string tug from Jesus, that it would be so easy to answer, based on my past with Him. I love Jesus. I always have, but I think that I've always just kind of put Him to my side as a friend, instead of a partner and guide in my life.

I'm what you might call a Christian by practice. I do all the things that I should be doing and love doing, but I don't do them with the expression of the Christ. I love helping people, being there for my friends and family. I love attending church. I love listening to sermons that make me want to go out and be a better Christian, but the actual implementation of a Christ-like life gets me. For some reason praying with others or being an example for my children, friends or other family members gets me every time. I'm working on that.

I often think of a song we use to sing the early service at my childhood church entitled "As The Deer." It goes like this:

Lyrics: 
As the deer panteth for the water
So my soul longeth after thee
You alone are my hearts desire
And I long to worship thee

Chorus
You alone are my strength my shield
To You alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my hearts desire
And I long to worship thee

Vs.2
You're my friend and You are my brother,
Even though you are a king.
I love you more than any other,
So much more than anything.


Vs3
I want You more than gold or silver,
Only You can satisfy.
You alone are the real joy Giver,
And the apple of my eye.

So where is my relationship with Jesus going?? I have no idea, but I'm really excited to find out. Because the more I know Him, the better my life is!


Peace.

That's for the birds.

Wow! The past few days (weeks) have really tested my patience, diligence, temper, time management. Did I say patience? Oh that's right, I did. No biggie though, I've been repeating myself a lot, lately. So why not on my blog?! Are you following me? Let me tell you, this blog is likely to not have a point. Do any really??

As I sit her staring at the Today Show, a list is forming in my head of all the things I need to accomplish over the next 72 hours. Not including today. But the next 3 days are jam packed with a lot of stuff. I don't really know why I do this to myself. Suppose I like the excitement of unnecessary stress really!?! Who knows? But the point is, I do it. I do it often. And I think that overbooking and overextending myself is one thing I do with 100% perfection.

I find it difficult to have a calm, quiet, and well-planned schedule. Psh! That's for the birds. I mean what Christian mom, wife, business owner, friend, organizer, family member, life lover (I say this one with the hope that it will actually mean something today) wouldn't want a less stress calendar of events. You know, the one thing that would help this is if my son would just take his nap while I type this blog. Oh a maid would help too!

I feel stressed. Do you get that?? If not, I'll elaborate more. My husband called on his way home from work yesterday and I prepared him for the house when he got here. I said, and I quote, "Don't say one thing about the condition of the house when you walk in the door." Okay, so maybe that was more of a warning that I'm not in the mood for his funny remarks about how I'm a stay-at-home-mom and that I should be on top of things. Yea, perhaps that was a warning, not a preparation. Why do I need to "prep" him for the condition?? It's not like I'm only a SAHM. I am an errand girl, chauffeur, bank, waitress, diaper changer, toy picker upper, laundry doer. Wait wait, I am a maid!! What was I thinking, I have a maid already! ME! Uh duh!

Not to mention the extreme cabin fever that is resonating in this house with not just my kids, but ME! Oh wow, what I would do for a bright sunny DRY day outside with my kids. WHY WON'T HE GO TO SLEEP!?!??! I just can't figure out this naptime stuff. Ya know, as an adult I would love to take a nap daily! If only.....

I think that I feel better now. I am a bit stressed. With everything in me, I was/am seeking some patience today. I'm running a little short! So I seek out a Bible verse.

Psalm 55:22 NIV: Cast your cares on the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous be shaken.  

Alright, so here's my cares! Sure hope and pray that I'm sustained today. And that MASON GOES TO SLEEP!!!

Peace. =)

Mason in Public

I am sure that Mason has the ability to fool nearly every stranger we come in contact with. He just flutters his long eyelashes and gives a slightly crooked smile, and "snap" they are enamored with his cuteness. It's quite an amazing trick he can do.

This exact thing happened today at the customer service counter in the Palmer Fred Meyer. But before I can get to that point, let's back track the morning and see why I am in awe of his abilities.

We dropped Kara off promptly tardy to school this morning at 9:30. Then made our way to Wal-Mart so that I could order some contacts. While there, he modeled his monkey hat to a nice lady who proceeded to tell him how cute he was right AFTER I just picked him up because he was taking things off the shelves and then running around like a possessed rabbit. He was under the desks, on the chairs, rolling chairs away, handing me eye glass cleaning kits, and so on! Following the vision center fun, which btw, was only entertaining for the grandma that thought he was adorable (supposing this is because she's in a completely different phase in life), we wandered over to the Pillow Pets so that he could pick one out, so that the "Easter Bunny" brings a fun thing for him. He completely forgot about the pillow pet and threw some M&Ms up on the register. Yeah .. like this kid needs more energy!

Okay, moving on! So from Wal-Mart we ventured over to Thrifters Rock to see if they still had a game I was looking for. I ran in, without him, I KNOW I KNOW!! Big no no .. but while in there .. I took a breath because I was sure that Fred Meyer was going to be such a great experience. Have you ever stood near a lion's den fence at a zoo with a cheeseburger? Well, shopping with Mason in a grocery store is a lot like torturing that lion with your cheeseburger. It's a task.

Anyway, so we get in and get the chickens (because at .89/lb who doesn't go and buy 5 whole chickens?) And we get some other meats on sale. Because that's how I roll! The other reason I went to the grocery store was for stamps. Why? Well because the Palmer Post Office is slower than molasses, it's about as fast as a stampeding group of worms. So I purchase my stamps at the Fred Meyer. And the customer service lady always giggles. And then Mason flirts and here we are back to the public cuteness of my son.

He is a frustratingly cute and funny little man. He has such a great determined personality! He challenges every ounce of my sanity and pushes me to the brink of a padded room. Then he flutters his long eyelashes and smiles and makes you want to hug and kiss him. RAWR! The lady at the Fred Meyer told me that her boys are 11 and she's dreading puberty. She told me that she wishes they were little like Mason again! I, politely, giggle and say awe he's got me on my toes for sure. And she says "He's just a cutey! Enjoy this time."

REALLY!?!?! REALLY!?!?! REALLY!!!!!! "ENJOY THIS TIME!!" I am aware that all moms have been in this time at some point. Hopefully. Or is it just me?? Am I just the one with the full-fledged terrible two-year-old in the house?? I can't be. Because honestly, I'm about done with "THIS TIME." I'm ready to shop without the constant request of all the food he can see. I'm ready to buckle him into his carseat without a fight. I'm ready to not have to close every door in the house because his curiosity is just too much to deny. I'm SO ready to not have him chuck his plate on the floor, across the table, or at me. LOL

I love my boy! I love watching him grow and learn and try new things. I really love his snuggles and his kisses. I so love his "hucks" (hugs). And I really love how he plays with his toys. There are things I'm not ready to move past. But I really could do without all the challenges, for maybe one day. :)

Peace

Shamrock Pancakes

I don't know why, but I really love St. Patrick's Day. Perhaps it's because it's a significant day in about a man who brought Christianity to Ireland. Or maybe because green is my favorite color. =) But I really like to have fun with it. And as my kids get older I do more things with and for them about this day. Today I added Shamrock Pancakes to our day of celebration.

The shamrock was used as a symbol of the Holy Trinity; Father, Son and Holy Ghost. It's a cool way to describe the Trinity to preschoolers, or kids in general.

To make shamrock pancakes:

Ingredients:
1cup flour
1.5 tablespoon of sugar
2 tsp of baking powder
1/2 tsp of salt

1 cup milk
1 egg
1 tablespoon vanilla
Green food coloring

Mix the dry ingredients together and the wet .. then combine.
Heat your skillet -- about 25 degrees below the normal setting for pancakes .. 300 degrees is what I did.

Draw an outline of a shamrock on the skillet to create a controlled border

After a few minutes fill in the shamrock .. I used green sprinkles to make it more fun for the kids.

Once the pancake is cooked about halfway through flip.

You'll see that there is a darker border around. This is why you want to have the skillet temp down because otherwise that delicate border would burn.
This part takes a little bit longer to cook because of the sugar crystals. But when it's done.....

 

You have a fun breakfast for your kids. :)

One thing that works best for designing ANYTHING for pancakes is to purchase some of those empty condiment bottles. They work like pens with pancake batter. :)

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

A bit of therapy

I am going to preface this post as possibly offensive, emotional, angry, and happy. If you don't want to read it, stop now, but at the end of this post you will know more about my emotional state at the moment than you probably care to know. So consider this your warning!

I have been dealing a lot with my sadness about not having more babies. I know I've stated in a past blog post about how Mason growing makes me sad. But I haven't actually clarified the emotional state of losing this ability by a lack of choice has for me.

When a couple decides their family is complete, they usually take steps to ensure that the process is removed and from that they continue in life with their family completed. There have been times after giving birth to Mason, fleeting moments really, when I was asked if we were done having children. Feeling like the proper answer was 'yes,' I would often say, "yes, we're done." Which is what happened at one doctor appointment. My doctor is amazing, and his demeanor was never by force or influence. After all, he makes his living delivering babies!! But at this stage in my life, during that appointment, and with all the issues I was having, I was 100% convinced in a moment of weakness I was done having children. A surgery that directly followed that appointment made it so! Following that surgery, of course, I found out that I would, indeed, be done having kids, regardless of my own choice, by the results of a biopsy! Which then lead to a complete hysterectomy.

How this second surgery effected me was deeply more emotional than I ever anticipated. I love, adore, cherish my children, but I feel like something or someone is missing. Perhaps a puppy would suffice, I don't know. :) But I know that the deep rooted sadness, which I'm forging through, is hard. It effects the way I think; the emotions I feel when I see a pregnant woman; the grief I feel when I hold a baby; the forgone memory that a newborn has on a lifestyle when I see my two are sleeping peacefully.

When I think about the life I was anticipating and the life I have, it's not that different really. I am still very happy and blessed to have two healthy children, a marriage full of love and laughter with a little stress thrown in there, and a bunch of friends that have helped and supported me through this process. After doing some research into others that have had hysterectomies at a young age, I found that what I was feeling was completely normal. I really felt abnormal for a while, as if I was sinking into a depression. But the truth is I've lost something. It's completely normal to go through the similar motions of grief and sadness. I felt like this was something that I should deny, these emotions were childish and that I was just being a dweller. I hadn't said anything to anyone, keeping all my emotions inside, attempting to not burden anyone about my state of mind. It's stable, in case you were curious.

I didn't even say anything to my own husband. A person who I love and trust and I know would just help me and be there for me. He, too, had to go through some motions of not having more children. I mean we're in this for life together. He lost this too! But it's not quite the same. For a long time I felt like damaged goods, less womanly. I don't have any reproductive organs designed specifically for me to grow and give life now. This is all just a bit overwhelming. I have been struggling through a lot of this privately and somewhat unsuccessfully because I was denying the support of my loving husband.

I finally told him what I was dealing with, and to my surprise I felt so much better! :) Like there was hope. If only I had done this weeks (months) ago. I could've saved myself so much heartache. I didn't look to my two children the next day as if I was missing that third one. I didn't wake up with the sadness about it. I'm still bummed and I'm sure as time goes on I'll feel better about it and process it better. But I am not allowing it to be a controlling aspect now.

I've recently been attending First Baptist Church in Palmer. There is some significant power in prayer and even though my battles have been somewhat private, I leave church services with hope, I know that God has a plan for me, He wouldn't leave me to handle this sadness and transition in life alone. He's been there for me the whole time and I only need to stretch out my hand and He's there. I love that He has so humorously placed so many pregnant women in my life. :) I do think He has a "different" way to support. It's more of an in-your-face support. :) I am a believer!

I guess the point of this blog was part therapeutic and part informative. I'm not as fragile as I thought. I am pushing through this and winning. I have a wonderful spouse, friend and partner in life, and two very exciting and fun kids. Life is phenomenal!

Peace.

Six Years

Six years, five cars, four homes, three moves, two kids and one dog later, we are still happy and going strong!

Today is our 6th wedding anniversary and I can't believe that we've been married six years. I look back over the past 7ish years we've been together and life hasn't always been easy for us. We've been through a lot together and have come out on top. We are still young and in love. I still see that young and maturing man I met 7 years ago with his ambitious smile and zest for life. I fall in love with Aaron all over again everyday and I couldn't imagine my life without him.

He has taught me so much in being together, including how to be accepting and forgiving, What will the next six years bring? I have no idea, but I'm super excited to find out!

Soap Opera Choices

My beautifully honest daughter posed a particularly interesting question to me, "Why do you like "Days of Our Lives, Mom?" In complete confusion, I simply could not come up with an answer that would suffice, nor justify, why I like my soap. I have been watching "Days" since age 14. I have watched my mom my entire life record and watch "General Hospital." She'd come home from work, make dinner, we'd eat, then she'd retreat to her room to watch "GH." Fast forwarding through the commercials. Perhaps this is where my aversion to commercials came from. I tend to mute the TV when watching episodes of my favorite shows. This provides for ample entertainment and peace and quiet from the annoying decibel changes in the sound.

Anyway, back to my soap opera addiction, I think the reason I watch this specific show is because I find the storylines absurd and intriguing at the same time. The acting is awful most days, the character creation is horrific, and the constant "island banishings" are annoying, but some of the characters have grown on me. Perhaps it's because the characters are in the same stage in life as I am with young children. There is one major difference between me and those characters that I minimally identify with, I have only been married one time, to someone that has not and will not cheat on me, brainwash me, disrespect me, hide my children from me, or have a secret in his past so terrible that it would rattle the graves of our ancestors. :)

To be honest, I have no idea, logically speaking, why I watch the shows I watch. It's a bit of a mental escape. It's something that gives me a moment of a peek into a fantasy life where no one works, but they all have phenomenal bodies, flawless makeup, designer clothes, beautiful homes, and they drink fancy coffee all the time. :) Who wouldn't want that life???

I am incredibly grateful for my life. I have friends, family, kids, and a special husband that adores and loves me. So to answer Kara's question as to why I watch this show, I still don't know. LOL! I doubt I will ever have the answer. I don't particularly enjoy the terrible acting, the corny storyline, or the constant bedroom eyes. But it is somewhat of an entertaining show. :)

Becoming Sami Homemaker

So, in an effort to be more "Susie Homemaker" I took on the task of baking bread from scratch. I'm talking warm water and yeast style baking. The kind of bread you let rise for hours then punch it (which is a great stress reliever) and then let rise a second time in the bread pan. In all my excitement to see that the yeast was WORKING I didn't let it rise to the size of the bread pan. So I had a runt loaf. But still yummy nonetheless.

If you know me at all you know that being a housewife was never a goal I had when I was in my undergrad years. I was convinced that I would be a working mom with daycare kids. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but for the time I do not have to participate in the working mom game of things. So to pass the time, I bake, clean, play with my kids, color, do crafts, workout, see friends, and in all provide my husband and children a happy environment to flourish in. I LOVE being home with my kids. I love that I can bake bread or cakes or cookies on a whim if I wanted to midday on a Wednesday. Although with the current workout routine, cakes and cookies are going to have to wait. ;)

My family means the world to me and I take it as a personal responsibility to provide them with the healthiest choices possible in my control. I made bread. Sure you might say, "Whoppididoodah!" But let me tell you something, if you don't have organic breads in your house, try to pronounce ALL the ingredients they put into bread to make it fluffy, taste good, and sellable. This bread had 8 ingredients. Wheat flour, white flour, molasses, honey, yeast, water, butter and salt. All words I know what they are. This bread was a recipe I borrowed from another friend. Her recipe made 4 loaves. I cut it in half to make 2 to try it out.

Whole Wheat Bread(makes 4 loaves)
2 pkg dry yeast
4 C warm water
1/2 C soft butter
1/4 C molasses    

1/2 C honey
2 tsp salt
6 C whole wheat flour
4 C white flour

‎1. Dissolve yeast in warm water
2. Combine butter, molasses, honey and salt. Mix well. Add yeast mixture. Gradually add flour. Turn onto floured surface, knead until smooth. Place in greased bowl and let rise until double. Punch down. Let d...ough rest a few minutes. Shape into four loaves. Place in greased bread pans. Let rise about one hour. Bake at 375 for 35-40 minutes.  

Simple enough I think. It was easy and messy.

I cannot bake or cook without making a mess in my kitchen.

But when I put my mind to things, they turn out pretty perfect. The bread is rising. IT'S WORKING!!

 Split into two bread pans. One bread pan is slightly larger than the other bread pan.

 This bread is pretty even in a picture.

YUM YUM!!

Pretty happy kids. They really liked it!

So as I conclude this bread-making adventure with a blog, I will state that I think it was a good experience. Saved quite a few bucks... at about 55 cents per loaf, who wouldn't make their own bread? And I know that my family is getting the healthiest option out there for bread. That puts a smile on my face.


Happy homemaking to you!

Crafts and such

If your children are like my children they require a lot of attention. This means that they need to be doing something every minute of their wake time. This can be very exhausting and fun at the same time. I haven't really ever been a "crafty" person. In fact, my husband, lovely man, has diagnosed me with Arts and Crafts A.D.D. This of course is not a REAL illness, per say, but ironically it fits with me and my focus when it comes to things like arts and crafts. Though, for my children's sake and their development I have become pretty good (I think) at creating fun crafts for them to do.

Seeing that March is filled with all sorts of things, i.e. St. Patrick's Day, Spring Equinox, Dr. Suess' Birthday, National Reading Month, oh the list goes on, I thought we would make some St. Patrick's Day cards for family members. These little cards are fun to make. The thing with Arts and Crafts with your kids is the developmental aspect that is super important. They learn that perfection isn't key to success with imagination. They learn eye-hand coordination with scissors, coloring, glue, etc. They will grow with their creativity. And when you step back and just let their little minds go, you will be surprised at what they can create.

That last part is a bit of a task for me since I'm a tad OCD. However, I do try to let them do the crafts how they want with some guidance from me. :) These are the cards we (me and Kara) made. Mason was napping during both craft sessions.

Have a fun time with your kids and let them be the artists that they want to be. :)

10 Rules of Motherhood

Rules of Motherhood:

1) ALWAYS have an arsenal of snacks in your slightly-smaller-than-carry-on-size purse.
2) A diaper and small package of wipes fits in most purses and will come in handy when at the grocery or department store. This will also alleviate the carry of the gigantic diaper bag.
3) NEVER allow an almost 2 y/o that has a throwing arm to hold any sort of item in the back seat. Especially when he has impeccable aim. (Side note: shoes are also backseat weapons)
4) Always tell your children you love them when you are about to scream at the top of your lungs in insanity. This will remind you to calm down because you really do love them. =) And also may prevent any sort of unnecessary discipline.
5) Try not to take offense from your 5 y/o when she tells you you are not a straight woman. To her this doesn't have anything to do with orientation, it has to do with being thin or fat. HAHAHAHAHA
6) Make every effort in your last bone to get up before your children do in the morning to get that oh so brief time alone to mentally prepare for the day. Of course this might be an issue if you have unpredictable risers.
7) Listen to appropriate music.
8) Teach your children the "Clean Up" song. This will be an awesome tool in a public place where all the shelves have been emptied of their contents.
9) Dance. When you dance and make things fun like cleaning up (I'm all about the cleaning up) it makes it fun for the kids. Especially when you need/want their help in picking up the massive amount of collateral in their bedrooms.
10) Smile. My daughter is one of the most honest people I know. And when I am not happy, I don't smile and she notices and asks what's wrong. I'm not talking that you fake it. I'm talking that just in looking at my kids it makes me smile, even when they've made me so mad. They are a beautiful and perfect creation. I love them unconditionally. So, why not smile?

The Desirable Yet Undesirable Welcome Home

Every mom needs a getaway for a few days to rejuvenate and refresh for life as a mom. But what is it about moms that secretly hope that when they get away there's a desperate desire for her return? Or is this just me? It could be. I guess it could be the need to feel needed 24/7, absent or present. LOL

I'm a silly person I suppose, but in reality, I was a bit taken aback when I arrived home from my BFF Getaway to Seattle to see my family functioning just fine without me. Yes ... WITHOUT ME!!! How could this happen? How did they not burn the house down? Not drive Aaron crazy? How is it that my home wasn't a complete chaotic mess? That my kids were actually being fed a healthy dinner? That my husband wasn't distraught? That my children had been bathed?!?! What in the world is wrong with this picture??? Ummmm .. just absolutely EVERYTHING!!!

My family is my source of energy, life, happiness, and craziness. I do believe that in time I'll come to realize this was a blessing. I mean the exact opposite of what happened would inspire a completely different blog. :) But the reality is that I have a complete functioning system in our house that works, with or without me. For a moment this is heartbreaking. LOL! I know I know that sounds absolutely absurd and completely silly. But the fact of the matter is, I thrive on desperate acts of needing mom! From Aaron to the kids, I want them to need me 100%. What is wrong with me?!?!?

ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING! LOL! I am a nut case. I don't understand why I couldn't be happy that they were happy and healthy when I arrived. Perhaps I was hoping for that tackle hug when I walked through the door. Or the "I'm SOOOOO glad you are home" from Aaron. They were happy to see me, but in a different way. They weren't crying. There wasn't chaos. There wasn't a dire need for mom's ability to fix things. Or that Aaron was ready to start pounding a bottle of Jack the minute I walked in. I guess that this was an Okay home to walk into.

But guess what I did to entice the excitement I was craving .. oh yeah .. I broke out the souvenirs and prizes for everyone. I drew the excitement out with bribery! Oh I'm not above bribery! I'll take what I can get.

My Dear Evan.

There are many times in my life that I can recall that Evan was there for me. I can also remember the times we had fun together. Some of the best memories I have of him are when he was a DJ on Power 91, a Cedar City radio station that was ran and operated by SUU students on the campus. I use to go hang out with him while he did his show. I got to know the deep personal side of Evan. He desires, his fears, his love.

He was one person I could count on knowing he'd be there for me through anything. Even if he disagreed with what I was doing, he was there for me. He was a to the core genuine loving person. It didn't matter who you were he loved you. From the moment you met him, he left a mark on your heart. He showed everyone what unconditional love and respect was. He made sure that everyone he knew, knew he loved and cared for them. He introduced me to some of the most awesome people I still call friends.

Evan was a person of deep emotion, who had a hard time processing loss. He loved everyone to a flaw. He trusted everyone, and put stock in every relationship he had. He was even so forgiving of the most emotionally damaging situations.

If there is one thing that I can say that Evan has taught me, it is to love. His love for people was astonishing. I will miss him. He was my sweettart! A big brother to me. A calm concerned smile in time of turmoil. Peace is all he wanted. All he needed was peace of heart. I hope he has peace now. I am sad that taking his own life was the only option he felt he had.


I love you Evan! You will always have a piece of my heart!

To-Do List Addiction

I have had a bit of a hard time lately writing a blog and I'll tell ya why. My life is busy. From feeding and bathing kids, to taking one to school, socializing another, wiping noses, changing diapers, doing laundry, dishes, vacuuming, wiping a nose again, disinfecting the house, administering medicines at the proper times, feeding the dog, prepping dinner, reloading the dishwasher, back to laundry, making beds, picking up the 900 crayons for the 10th time. Oh my gosh I could go on. So my brain isn't necessarily in a state of rest to sit down and write. And that's not necessarily a bad thing either.

It seems to me when I am sitting here blogging I just let my fingers do the typing and everything in my brain just kind of spills out. I'm not sure where this specific post is going, or if I'll even be lucky enough for it to have a point, but know this, I have had some coffee. Item #1 checked off my to-do list for today.

Now that we're talking about to-do lists, let's think about these things that we create to encourage ourselves to be more productive during the day. I think that when I've started my day off with a to-do list I've already failed. Because I'll never achieve this list. Why? Because I have children, Kara, 5, and Mason, 1. These two alone have the power to hinder any progress I foresee in my day. This isn't a bad thing. HAHAHA. But it is reality. To-do lists are great when you are at an office and have a list of items to be achieved before a certain deadline. These lists are also good when mapping out an errand run, or even planning an event.

Yesterday I was talking to a friend and she informed me that she is a list maker. I realized at that moment I, too, am a list maker. I have piles of notebooks, hoards of pens, paper clips, sticky notes, and a method that would stump even the brightest secretarial student in filing. :) I just made another FREAKING LIST! HELP!

Anyway, I am a list maker. I make a list of our bills, household to-dos (a.k.a. Honey Do List), and errands. I also have fallen victim to the Daily Goal To-Do list. This is the ultimate failure of to-dos. I'm starting to hear Ta Dah in my head. hmmm

Anyways, when I set up a daily list and I don't even get one thing marked off that list I sit and think about what I didn't do that day, instead of planning for tomorrow. And then that dumb quote pops into my head "Why put off until tomorrow what you can accomplish today." I'd like to meet this person. I can almost guarantee this person never had kids.

I mean I even started this post off with a list! There is something wrong with me. :) Lists are a good thing. But how obsessive can one be about making lists? Subconsciously I make lists. I even tend to bog my mind down at night making a list for the next day. WHERE DOES IT END!!!?!?!

Then there's the Honey Do List I mentioned a second ago. Not only do we, as moms and wives, make lists for ourselves, we've branched out. We've expanded our list-making horizons to our spouses. We've sucked them into our obsession of creating a tangible, evidential hand held list that is proof we have aspirations to accomplish something, anything really. Just to have that one or more items marked off the list. To say to ourselves, "Look what I did today!!" For that proud moment of doing something was needed and necessary. But why? Why do we need this proof of productivity? Why do I make these lists that disappoint time after time?

Can't I just be confident in my day spent with my children? I mean, after all, if we're all breathing and alive by bedtime I consider the day a success. :) Perhaps I'll try a new list. Maybe when I write my list for the day I'll include things like "playing with my kids," or "read to my kids," or "do a craft with my kids." These I think are things that are completely achievable. And then at the end of the day when I check my "to-do list" I'll see all the things marked off.

Peace.