Things I've learned in 7 years....

Today is our seventh wedding anniversary. I cannot believe how fast our seven years of marriage has gone by. Ya know, I don't feel like my kids are growing up fast, but it is hard for me to wrap my mind around being married for seven years.

To some, I know that's not a long time. To others, that is a VERY long time. I know many people who have been married a lifetime, and I know about the amount of people my age who are on their second, some third, marriages.

What is this phenomenon with marriage? Why is it is strange to be married longer than five years?

I was looking at divorce statistics for our nation. I know we're all aware of the 49/50% divorce rate we tout in our country, but did you know that the majority of those divorces happen in the early years of marriage? I didn't.

My parents divorced well after 20 years of marriage, as well as several others. It's amazing to me that when two people get married, all it takes is one person to file for a divorce and the marriage is over. I guess, having been married a mere seven years, that this idea is foreign to me, because we are a team, a pair.

I'm not writing this post because of divorce, but rather because I'm married. And I will not lie to you or anyone, marriage is not easy by any means. And it is sometimes ugly. But for me, it is mostly amazing!

In our seven years of marriage, we have brought two amazing lives into this world. Two little people that will forever impact the way the world functions. We have made some smart and dumb decisions together. But we did them TOGETHER. We have had our fights, sometimes over the top and stupid ones, sometimes fights of passion, sometimes just fights because we weren't connecting like we should.

In all this time watching my husband transform into a man has been this inspiring experience. He is so amazing. I enjoy watching him interact with our kids. Teaching them, disciplining them, raising them. Being a father. It really is a phenomenal experience to watch my once "immatureish" husband at 24 struggle to handle our new baby girl transition into this confident man that knows what he loves and expects about our kids.

And to feel and know his love for me. I can't even begin to explain that! Our first few years were rough, probably like a lot of new marriages. TV, movies, media, make marriage seem so easy, so flawless, so .......... fairytale like. And these things do appear in our marriage. At times, I can't believe how happy we are, how smooth things are going, how well we are communicating. But that didn't happen over our wedding night.

We are two different people who have the same goals in life .. mostly. We want to raise our children to live up to their best and brightest potential. We want to give back to the world. We want to go through life together. We want to rely on each other for EVERYTHING.

I'm always saying I don't just "need" Aaron. I "want" him. I could go through life alone without a partner, but I'm simply not designed that way. I am designed to have a partner in life for the good and bad times. And I am so blessed to have such a winner winner chicken dinner as my husband, partner, friend, father of my children.

If there were seven things I could say to encourage a healthy and loving marriage it would be these things:
1) Love your spouse like you love yourself or better!
2) Sacrificial love .. the kind where you put his or her needs before your own is the best kind.
3) Trust him or her regardless of the demons that are constantly trying to drive your marriage to the grave.
4) Be yourself!
5) Decide to do this together. Two people can be married but living separate lives. Doing life together makes your marriage that much more likely to succeed.
6) Call on God! He is our creator. He created us to be married to each other. Therefore he designed marriage. He knows what it's going to take.
7) It's the simple things. Extravagant gifts, trips, dinners, lifestyles are fun. But if the small little things don't get appreciated, you're unlikely going to enjoy the big things to their fullest.

Peace.