Kara is the Twenty

As the aftermath is setting in for me about the happenings in Connecticut, China, Oregon, and the other places around the world and in the past that have suffered such horrific experiences, I am heartsick. No, that's not the word. I'm in shock, distraught, in the deepest feelings of despair.

As I easily pay my bills, have good health, a family that loves me, a home to sleep in, my children asleep in their beds upstairs, I realize that this could all be taken from me in one quick breath. A madman, a crazy person, someone who is lost from Jesus, a person that has no sense of morality could whisk this all away from me as if it were a dream state.

My heart aches for those parents in Connecticut that have to bury their children. My daughter, 7 years old, is the face of all those children taken too soon. In our human view. What would be going through my head if I were that mother? What would my heart feel? Would I feel anything? Would I feel too much?

My first grader lays peacefully and safely in her bed. And she is alive. Twenty aren't.
I will make my first grader cinnamon rolls with fruit salad for breakfast tomorrow. Twenty moms won't.
My first grader still has a future that is bright. Twenty do not.
My first grader will attend school tomorrow (even if in our home). Twenty won't.

My grief for these mothers that have to bury their children is encompassing. I can't even put it to words. As a parent, you learn what your parents feared. And only a parent can fear these demons that our world has possessed and created as a parent can. Our children are the future. When a child is taken prematurely, it sends unrecognizable shock waves through a time.

Twenty children will not date, celebrate their first kiss, graduate high school, vote for president, drive a car, get married, have children, and experience these fears that their parents fear.

Kara is the face of all those children. I can't look at their pictures because her face appears in their place.

I try to be religious about this situation. Spread the good news. But my heart is broken for these parents and families that will experience an immense amount of sorrow just days before we celebrate the birth of our King. I pray, that in their darkest moments of weakness, God shows them their worth and purpose in surviving such a travesty. I pray, we as a nation band together and demand a higher moral compass for our society.

To the families in Connecticut, and others around the world affected by such travesty, my deepest condolences.

Heart Break

I listened and my stomach churned;
the sound made my lips quiver.
My frame went limp, as if my bones were decaying,
and I shook as I tried to walk. 
I long for the day of distress
to come upon the people who attack us.   -Habukkuk 3:16

I am sure that many of us are feeling this way after the past week of the tragic shootings across the world. Whether you are impacted directly or indirectly, as most are, it sickens one to the very core of self. Unable to process or believe the events has they unfold. The facts that become available.

Today, in the innocent setting of an elementary school in Connecticut, innocence ceased to exist. Lives of children and adults were suddenly ended. Many other lives will forever bear the scarring impact of witnessing these events. The sound of gunshots in the halls will echo through the heads of children. These children, who had faith and trust in the safety of their school environment, have been tainted with fear.

When events like this transpire, I hear a lot of people place blame on God. "Where was he?" "Why didn't he prevent?" And at times in my life, I, too, have said those questions. But in understanding God's plan, we will understand our purpose. 

I'm trying to avoid getting preachy. Because this wound is still fresh and bleeding. But when thinking about the religious aspect in all this, I find it sad that God is the one people choose to blame, instead of Satan. Satan is the one that creates evil in us. Satan is the one that hones in our weakest moments and thoughts and convinces us that we are to make the sinful choices we make. If God was to prevent all sin, where is free choice? Where is enjoyment in believing, preaching and sharing the Gospel? If God forces us, then our faith is meaningless.

Our hearts are the most deceitful part of our body.

Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"

The only cleansing refuge for a deceitful heart is Jesus. And even then, a constant repeat and exercise of having Jesus play a role in your heart is necessary to guard against the evil that can enter. 

We all want to see justice in situations like this. It's natural for humans to seek it, desire it, encourage it. Even if it isn't holy. We have to remember in all situations, God is ruler and final judge of all. The innocent lives of these children will not go unnoticed from our God. Let's not turn our backs on God at this time.

This is a time we should revive God in our communities, culture, country! This is a time we should band together in prayer and praise to God for our lives that he has spared to share his Gospel. There is purpose in every deed and act. And even the evil acts God will turn around into a blessing for anyone who wants to receive it. If you don't know the love of Christ, if you have questions on how to receive him, ask!!! Ask me, ask your neighbor, your pastor, your friend, your family member! Our world is turning into a bad bad place. We need Christ!

Alas!
The city once full of people
now sits all alone!
She who was once prominent among the nations
has become a widow!
The princess who once ruled over the provinces
has become a forced laborer!

She weeps bitterly at night;
tears stream down her cheeks.
There is no one to comfort her
among all her former lovers.
All her friends have dealt treacherously with her;
they have become her enemies.  - Lamentations 1: 1-2

Let's change our world together! One for Christ .. Christ for ALL! In peace and love. Humility and purpose! Don't let this moment to share the Good News go!

Burning Hard-boiled Eggs

I am busy. Not just busy like because I like to be busy. But I am busy, like, out the nose snot busy. That's pretty gross, actually.

I work part time for a broker as an assistant. I work on his websites; create flyers; take pictures of homes and edit the pictures; create packets for him to give to prospective sellers and buyers; drop documents onto another website for viewing; create MLS listings; and then other things "as needed."

I work part time as a photographer. This amounts to about 6-8 sessions a month. I spend hours editing. Then I create a personalize photo CD. I deal with paperwork, taxes, and other business legality requirements.

I'm a home schooling mom. I research, create, teach, learn, and educate at home. I take my kids on field trips. I find meaningful lessons that will, hopefully, broaden their views on the world. I have to plan weeks at a time (just like a real classroom teacher). I have to meet state standards. (Luckily, I've been educated on how to teach and meet standards.) I have to keep in contact with our home school coop adviser at our enrolled school. 

I'm a stay-at-home mom. This means everything beyond what I already do, falls on me. Laundry, dishes, floors, bathrooms, kids, kids' rooms, my room, counter and table tops, stairs, vacuuming, meals. OH MY GOSH the meals! That is a huge chunk of my day right there. Shopping, errands, bills, playtime, school time, game time, bed time, bath time. 

I am a Sunday School teacher and an adult class leader. And serving God is a passion for me. I love it! It's the only thing my life that makes sense everyday. Duties "as needed" from Him require no contract, pay, or benefit package.

And last night, I burned hard-boiled eggs.

Yes, how does all that work with burning boiled eggs? I was not paying attention. I got distracted by one of my duties, and well .. and hour went by, and the hard boiled eggs I had carefully put on the stove ... burned.

A class I started leading at church, made clear to me that I am over extended. No, I am maxed over extended. If there was an over extension, I would be beyond that. My brain can no longer plan or take in anymore information.

Something has to give. And thanks to this lesson at church, God made clear to me that something. He also made clear to me, knowing my frame of mind at the moment, that everything would be okay. My worries about specific future events would be fine. I would be okay. And most importantly, my family would be happier!

The eggs, though still edible, were a huge part of me realizing that things needed to change in my life. 

One Monthish Down

So, we are a month into home schooling and I'm pretty sure today was the longest day of home schooling yet.

We didn't have any extra work other than our normal stuff. Kara was just so easily distracted with whatever thoughts popped into her little mind. Sometimes, I am amazed at the things she thinks of.

As part of her Farm School attendance, I make encourage her to journal every day that she goes to school. In the beginning, this was a bit of a task because she didn't want to do it. As she reads back through the last month of attendance at the school, she loves that she can recall the events that took place, and the fun she is having. I think she will enjoy that journal even more once she is out of the Magpies class.

This last month has had many challenges, but it has had many more rewards. I love that my daughter and I have a new found relationship. I never expected her to be so brutally honest and open with me. I, at the very least, just hoped to help her confidence and ambition. There are days where I am surprised I'm not complete intoxicated by the time Aaron gets home from work. Let's just say, there is not a day that I am alone. I am ALWAYS with a child!

I am seeing the beauty in home schooling. And the further into our curriculum and activities we go, the more I love it! When I get to help my child one to one with her struggles in understanding a concept, I know she is getting a better grasp on it. When I get to see her excel in her subject content, get 100% on her tests, and most (and best) of all see her handwriting improve. That is the reward of home schooling.

Is our system perfect? Absolutely not! I will say it's still a system in progressive nature. :)

We work together. And there are days where Kara doesn't want to cooperate. I get it. She's 6. She would do that at public school as well, as with any other child. She is more loving and caring now than I have ever seen. She wants to help. She is listening better. But she still has her stubborn independent sassy attitude. Most of which I don't necessarily want to change. My girl is spunky and such a joy to teach!

I have watched her relationship with her brother improve 10 fold! That has to be the best result of this home schooling adventure we embarked on a month ago. Seeing siblings play, fight, make up, and, in general, just be together agreeably is an amazing thing! She has even started "teaching" Mason! Which is awesome!

I love my children. I love my family! I am so incredibly blessed to have this opportunity to home school. I'm not sure how long I will be able to have this blessing in my life, but I know that I will not take it for granted. Even on those days, where time by myself would be super, I remind myself that I'm one lucky mom! I get to be with the best kids in the whole world.

And I get to watch them grow academically, spiritually, emotionally! I get to teach them!

Apple Pie

This week we have been engulfed in school, work, cleaning, organizing, playing, and Halloween. It has been super busy. I am very glad that it is Friday, and that tomorrow I have NOTHING that I have to do except work on organizing my time .. well that will be a task.

This week we read "Amelia Bedelia's First Apple Pie."

It was a great story for Kara to read. It was challenging in that it taught Kara that there are many different names and types of apples. It also made her laugh. I also think it indirectly taught her that sometimes things don't quite turn out how you would like, but there is always a backup event that can make things better.

In an effort to stretch my teaching training, I turned this little fun story into an entire unit. Yes, folks, even friendly children stories can be educational.

I stumbled upon this book on our library day last week and I just knew that Kara would love to read it and make an apple pie. We did the basic spelling words. But I added three vocabulary words with sentence use. And then I tested her. She got 100% on both the spelling test and the vocab/comprehension test. My test writing skills are still a bit amateur, but I think I'll get better as time goes on.

You'll probably have to click on it to read it, if you want to. :)

Kara decided since the book was about apples, we would make an apple tree with her spelling words on the apples for her to look at regularly. So .. we did....

She did quite well

I told Kara we would make the pie from the recipe in this book. Yes, this book included a recipe for apple pie. And I will be making a copy of it before I return it to the library! It was just that good!!

So we went shopping for Granny Smith apples .. as suggested in the story by "Grandpa." He said "they are the best for pies."

And we made the apple pie filling....

I peeled, cored, and sliced 8 cups of apples. Apple pie filling in the jar at the store would be much easier. However, I don't think it would've been as tasty!

Then we made the pie crust .. yes from scratch .. it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be .. and I don't have a picture of mixing it .. but here Kara is rolling it out....

I had to help her a bit. The marble rolling pin is a bit heavy. :)

Once we pulled it from the oven, it smelled and looked amazing. For being Kara's first homemade pie (and my first homemade apple pie) I think it's pretty amazing.

The crust was PERFECTLY cooked. Perfectly seasoned. Perfect thickness.

Final judgement was left up to our dinner guests, and they gave her ovation of goodness. Even had seconds on the pie!

My official judgement on the pie: Kara is on apple pie duty for Thanksgiving!!

"The Story of Ferdinand"

It has been a few days since I wrote a post. Mainly because it has been whirlwind of activities in our house, town, state, and nation. And writing a post kept proving to be difficult with all those things swirling around in my head.

So, now that we've completed our first reading comprehension and spelling unit of "The Story of Ferdinand" by Munro Leaf, I have a clear subject to blog on.

This is a great book to read just to read to children. It teaches them many things, but most importantly that is okay to be different. The book is loaded with fun vocabulary words. Though I didn't do vocabulary. I do plan to expand on our reading comprehension units with vocabulary, geography, dictation and spelling. This specific unit we did only dictation, comprehension and spelling. Totally missed the bar on geography! Spain will be on our list to study.

Kara worked on 15 spelling words all week. Writing them, reading them, spelling them out loud. And today, was test day.

I am quite happy about her first spelling test.

Believe me, it took every ounce of me to not "remind" her to capitalize Madrid. I knew that once we went through to correct the words, she'd slap her head, and she did.

I'm a big believer in self-correction when it comes to spelling. I believe it helps hone in the idea of the words when children correct their own works. I made sure she used a crayon so she couldn't just "correct" the words. LOL

She was quite disappointed that she missed Madrid. Such a simple mistake. I didn't mark her down for capitalizing "sharp." Her logic was sound in why she did it. But I did remind her that words that aren't proper nouns or at the beginning of a sentence, aren't to be capitalized.

Language Arts will be on our schedule next week.

Cheers!

Home School is Weird!

The truth came out today about how Kara feels about being homeschooled.

"It's weird!!!" she exclaimed from the bathroom.

Now, I understand how she would think this. Most of her friends attend what would be considered a "normal" school; private, public, or charter. Some ride a bus. Some have homework. And there are a few that have told her it's weird. Which makes me even more angry, but that's for another post about how bullying doesn't only take place in the classroom.

Needless to say, I asked her to clarify what was "weird" about being home schooled. Cause I know that she hasn't been exposed to the weird home school kids, yet.

She explained it wasn't normal. And to a 6 y/o, anything that isn't "normal" is "weird."

I asked her if she thought her Farm School classmates were home schooled. She said they weren't.

AH HA!!! The culprit misconception has been exposed!

I proceeded to tell her that I can bet that they are all home schooled in one facet or another. And that some are taught by there moms, some by their dads, some by other parents that do a coop situation.

Home school is becoming less weird to her.

She said that she wanted to still go to Farm School, but not be home schooled. But unfortunately for her, that is not possible.

A) Because Aaron and I have decided this is how her education is going to play out.
B) Logistically speaking, she can't be in two places at once.
and
3) We are the parents and get to make this decision.

Yes, some of you will read this and think "Well it's not what she wants." Okay, you raise your kids that way, we'll raise ours this way.

We aren't a dictatorship, but my 6 y/o daughter does not know how things affect the future. She only knows instant gratification. As most children do. I don't blame her! Immediate gratification is awesome, but not always the best route.

Would you let your child take off in your car without first teaching him/her how to drive it? No. Well, most parents wouldn't, at least.

She said she was bored with home school. Yeah, I picked up on that last week!!! So we are breezing through the math so I can get an idea of exactly where she is. She was okay with that.

She also doesn't like to hear my "teacher" voice. Never knew I had one. Guess it makes sense though. I told her that there are times where I have to use the "teacher" voice, because in that moment, that is my role. She agreed (or at least shook her head to appease me).

She made cheese and butter today at Farm School, with the milk the got from Friday. (she didn't like it)
But will kids in a "normal" schooling situation typically get to do that?? No!
I'm okay with "weird." I embrace it! Normal isn't my thing.

It's not even Kara's thing!!!! Have you met my singing artist fashionista?!?!?