Training Children

Let me preface this blog post with that these are my opinions and conclusions drawn throughout my limited experience as a parent, specifically a mother. I don't claim to know everything there is to know about effective parenting. I do know what works and does NOT work with my kids. I also know there are many things I haven't tried, simply because I disagree with the practices. I don't think there is a one size fits all technique to parenting. All kids are different. So let me say, once again, this is MY opinion. My BLOG, MY opinion! :)

I have a six-year-old daughter. She is beautiful, smart, funny, emotional, creative, artistic, and loveable. She loves to pretend, play dress-up, play barbies, dolls, house, kitchen, tea parties, wear pink, high heels, dresses, skirts, draw, color, paint, craft making, read, write notes, talk on the phone, play and sleep over at friends' houses, and run around outside for hours on end. She is a kid. She is designed by God and given to me to raise and teach the ways of our Lord.

I have not been the best mom at times. I was once a screamer, and still to this day, sometimes finding myself lapsing back into that practice. I do not believe that kids are born with the automatic knowledge of right and wrong. If that were the case our children would either be good or bad. We have to encourage and instruct in the ways of right and wrong.

If we didn't teach our children the things that were dangerous or if they didn't learn the cause and effect of behaviors and choices, they wouldn't ever learn what is right and wrong. They learn because we, as parents, are compelled to teach them what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Now what is acceptable will vary from family to family, but the children still learn.

Because I am a God-loving Christian, I am to the point in life where I really want to raise my children according to the Word. So, I'm taking a look at some Bible verses that have some idea of where children stand with Jesus, as well as, how do I effectively parent my children calling on the Spirit.

God says in Genesis 8:21 "The Lord smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: “Never again will I curse the ground because of man, even though every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done.” 

So from the beginning, God identifies that children are not born with the sense of how to behave. They need to be taught. I need to remember my children are not TRYING to drive me crazy (all the time) but that they are simply acting on inclination and natural born behaviors. However, in Proverbs, we are instructed to discipline in order to drive the reprehensible behaviors far from the instincts of children. Teaching them right and wrong.

Proverbs 22:15 "Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him."

I cannot just sit by and allow my daughter to react and disobey me. But I really struggle with HOW to discipline her effectively. My kids do not respond to the same discipline. Which is SO super frustrating at times! Because her new favorite argument is that I'm not being "fair" with them! I totally dislike that word "FAIR." Fair is what you get when you do what YOU do .. you don't get the same as someone else. It doesn't work that way! BLAH! That's a whole different blog!

So because I felt compelled to write this blog, it's a long one! I hope you're still reading .. there will be a pop quiz! :) Just kidding.

I keep thinking about the story in the Bible when Jesus stayed back at the temple and Mary and Joseph didn't know he was missing for something like 3 days and they had to trek back to town and find him. Jesus was like 11 years old at this point. Can you imagine Mary's thoughts? I mean she just lost JESUS!!!! Seriously, that is one conversation I would not want to have with God. It'd go something like this...

Me: "Uh, God... I lost Jesus." *run away .. hide ..*

In all seriousness though, Jesus was so young and even though he had stayed behind without telling his parents, she approached him in a much more calm way than I ever would've. I would've lost my mind on those steps.

I realize that as a mother, I'm going to make mistakes. I know that God is changing me and the way I parent. I seek him more when I'm at a loss of what to do. I seek him to help me when I do.

When you feel like you've lost your compass in parenting, what do you?
Do you have people that can provide you some sort of insight or new ideas?