Simple Play

I have been on a kick lately about how to be a better mom. I think I'm a fine mom, but less active with my kids than I probably could be. As a trained educator, I know the importance of interaction with our kids in correlation with performance in school. Reading, homework, behavior management, even chores. All of this effects how a child will perform in the classroom. How he or she reacts to problems with peers. How he or she talks to teachers and other adults in the school. It's all related.

What I forget to remember is that playing with my kids is just as important as designing a well-structured environment. That teaches boundaries, respect, and responsibility. I'm sure I'm not the only one that forgets that play is important. But I can't help but feel that way when I'm dealing with my 2 (soon-to-be 3) year old son.

Before I decided to write this blog I read and read and read about the importance of play. I have books, read Internet sources, had conversations with other moms. I've done my research and yet I still struggle with playing with my kids. Why??

Play seems so simple. It's getting down on my knees and driving cars through an alien planet, flying fairies to far away lands, shopping with Barbie, building towers of safety only to be destroyed by a hairless monster. This seems like so much fun! Right?

I will play and while in the midst of the play I think about all the things I need to get done. Cleaning, laundry, meals, beds, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, toilets, tubs, sinks, the list can go on. But I know that even if I weren't playing with my kids, I know I wouldn't be doing most of that list. But that "list" clutters my mind preventing me from enjoying the short amount of time I have with my kids while they are small and actually WANT to play with me!

I wanted to provide you some reading material online linked Here, Here, and Here.

The one thing I noticed about the first two links is that playing with our kids directly affects the self-esteem. In a society where self-esteem is based upon what you have, who you know, and how you appear, we can't just stand by as parents and allow those negative influences affect our children's self-view. We instill, through play, the self-esteem that comes from positive interaction with parents. Daughters and dads, Moms and sons. These relationships are crucial to development of self-worth, -respect, and -esteem.

I, sadly, witnessed an exchange this morning between a mother and a daughter. The daughter asked the mom if she would walk her to class. This little girl was clearly reaching out to her mom. Her mom said no. When the daughter, understandably, asked why, the mom simply and heartlessly (IMO) said "Because I don't want to."

The very one thing we should never say or hint to to our kids is that "we don't want to" do anything with them. Children find their worth in our ability to prioritize them. If you remember the times when you were growing up that you felt as if your parents didn't care, it usually revolves around the simplest of activities and interactions. The big things were forgettable. But it was those moments that you needed that simple understanding, that simple card game, that simple walk in the neighborhood.

I really struggle with the small things with my kids. I know that is what they are looking for and holding on to when they are developing their self-worth, but why is it so hard for me to remember?

Do you struggle with playing with your kids?