What more do you need?

The other day I got so super frustrated with my kids asking for more more more!!
It was one of those moments where I snap and said "You have enough already, what more do you need?"

That moment was quite a realization in my "demands" on my own life when I'm praying or talking with God. I wonder if he ever snaps in with a "You have plenty, what more can you want or need?"

It was very sobering. How much more can one want?
What else does one need?
I breath.
I have a home that is safe.
I have food on the table.
Healthy kids.
Loving husband.
I can pay my bills.
Clothing.
I have health insurance.
Two cars .. even a four-wheeler.
Half acre of land.
A dog.
I'm a stay-at-home mom without financial burden.

What more really could I need?

When I snapped at my kids, I realized I have probably many many times pulled the same stunts with God in begging for more money, bigger house, newer cars, warmer, sunnier place to live, skinnier thighs. Oh yeah .. the thighs I beg for often.

But I realize, that regardless of my thighs, my house, my cars, God is still providing. Everything that I have does exactly what I need it to do, and more.

I think about missionaries in foreign countries that are in hiding. Because to come out that they are on mission for God would be life or death for them. They are converting people left and right to the faith of the eternal kingdom. They are living with means far below my own. They are living to serve God and all they ask is for His protection.

So my question becomes, how do I teach my kids that they have enough? That they don't NEED more. We aren't shoppers. We don't have the newest gadgets. We have a scratch in the middle of our TV screen that drives me insane when light shines on it, but we don't have any plans on getting a new TV. That really has nothing to do with needs. Only wants. :)

But how? How do we teach them that enough is enough? That God is providing all our needs daily, minute by minute. I suppose it must start with me. And my realizing that I have all I need and more. Being grateful for what I do have. Even my thighs! ;)

How Great Thou Art

Where did the time go? I can't believe my exercise in Facebook detox has closed. I signed back in, nervously, Thursday, last week. I say nervously, because I didn't quite know what to expect or what to post as a status. This might seem silly. But I pretty much was an open book on Facebook. I posted nearly everything about my life on there.

With resistance I logged in and realized after about 30 minutes I was bored. It was like I had said the word "label" over and over and over again. It lost it's value and purpose. Try it. Say the first word that comes to your mind 10 different times in a couple minutes. It will soon just be a sound, without meaning. And then, you'll have to use it in a sentence to give it meaning again.

Facebook is that way for me, at the moment. It has no meaning. It's value is lost. And it's just something that I use to waste a lot time, energy, and emotion on. But it still has purpose. I get that. You don't have a successful social media outlet without it having a direct and effective purpose. 

All that said, I am back on Facebook. But I can confidently say my view of the social media outlet is very different. In a more positive and spiritual way. How can Facebook be spiritual? Many MANY ways. In fact, all things in life are spiritual if you allow yourself to let go of control even for a moment. 

Spiritual connectiveness comes in all forms; from human contact to nature to animal. We are all connected. Facebook is just one more avenue to spiritually connect with others. And I am so glad that God taught me that over those 48 days. I learned so much in those days. Not just because I wasn't on Facebook, but because I was trying to focus on God's purpose and plan for me. Trying to make His desires mine. I simply can't say I am 100% desiring what God wants. That would be a lie. What I can say is that I am learning to recognize God's desires. Realizing is the first step. Grasping that concept and running with it, is another.

His plan for my life is incredible. Even though I don't know what it is. I do know that it's incredible. His plan for all lives is incredible. 

I started this blog post with the idea in my head that I was going to tell you about how I spent those 48 days. About the things I did or didn't accomplish. But quickly realized that the biggest message I wanted to share with you, is that God in my life has been the biggest and most incredible change. Realizing that I need to put Him first, above anything else in this life to make everything in this life matter.

I will end with the verses of my favorite hymn of all times;

"How Great Thou Art"


O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

When through the woods, and forest glades I wander,
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees.
When I look down, from lofty mountain grandeur
And see the brook, and feel the gentle breeze.

And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing;
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin.

When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation,
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.
Then I shall bow, in humble adoration,
And then proclaim: "My God, how great Thou art!"

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

Idols .. They Are Not What You Think They Are

Half way through May and I haven't written one post. It's not that I am out of material. I just get writers block. I don't know where to begin, or sometimes, I forget the topics I come up with to write about.

Recently, I led a class on idolatry. This is hefty topic. Not to be taken lightly. And you are left feeling very raw when confronted with truth. Truth isn't so bad, in and of itself. It's the realization of that truth that hurts. Knowing that you cannot simply turn away from truth in ignorant denial, any longer. That is what the study of idolatry did to me.

I thought, originally, that Facebook was my idol. But as I proceeded through the study I found there were many more things I placed on the throne of my heart, instead of God. Logically, I know that God is a jealous God. He isn't interested in sharing my heart with anything. But I am human.

As we met week after week, my intimate class of four and I, we learned a lot about each other. I found out that in a group whose background is no where near as sad, risky, stupid, and dark they still loved me. They still accepted me. I was still their sister in Christ, and would continue to be.

See, I thought Facebook was my idol. Not true. My truth in idols came out in allowing my past choices to dictate the level of closeness, vulnerability, and spiritual dependence on other Christians. My idol was my past Me.

That might be hard for someone to understand, especially if you aren't a Believer, or even if you are. So let me explain, only a little bit.

As a child, I was introduced to sex at a very young age. Not by choice. As a preteen, I didn't understand it, so I explored in ways the seemed natural. As an adolescent teen, I was very much prudish about the topics of sex, alcohol, drugs, money, true friendships, and honest healthy boy/girl relationships. As a college student, my ignorance in those things came out in irresponsibility, bad choices, unhealthy drinking and drug use habits, and promiscuity. Insecurities grew with me in relationships with friends, family members, and acquaintances. I convinced myself over and over again that people interacted with me for some reason. Not because they wanted to be my friend or they cared about me. But I 100% believed they had an ulterior motive.

I had what most would think as a "normal" family life growing up in the military. As normal as that is. And then moving at age 12 to a new place upon my dad's retirement. 

Look, I'm not here to rehash the past. In fact, all that has been locked up in the vault for God. He has removed all those things from my heart, and I am focusing on putting Him as King on His rightful throne of my heart. My point is, ALL those things made me put God second, third, 100th, somewhere in the line of priority.

I was forced during this study to be vulnerable. To open up to a group of people that I hadn't really had any sort of deep conversation with. I really hadn't had much of a conversation with any of them outside a church setting, to be honest. And God walked me through the entire process. Prompting me when to share and when to stop. And I listened. BOY HOWDY did I listen. Because if it were up to me, my lips would've been left glued shut and likely our class would've sat silent for the hour and 15 minutes. :)

At any rate, I will be practicing listening to God everyday. I have to practice, because I am one stubborn bullheaded red head!!!! And that is no joke!

My friendships have deepened to incredible spiritual depths since releasing those heavy loaded burdens I was unnecessarily carrying, and idolizing. 

Look, friends, an idol isn't necessarily a golden calf, a fat bellied man sitting cross legged, or a dollar bill. An idol is something that you put before God. ANYTHING you obsess on, go to for comfort, think about, worry about, or try to control before you ever consider God. 

I pray that you will allow the Spirit to show you your idols in your life. Be open to His truthful conviction, but know confidently that He is only showing you these things in love. Not to punish you. But to bless you and glorify our Holy Creator!

Peace