Things Happen

Many of you who read this will know nothing about me prior to when we first met. Many will have no idea of the things I did to myself, learned about myself and others, or why I am the way I am. And I'm okay with that.

Even though in conversation I can be fairly forthcoming, I am also very private about the past. I am just that way. I don't air my dirty laundry, I try VERY hard to not bring up past issues, I also try VERY hard to not make people feel guilty about things they have done in the past. I am not perfect, so I know that, at times, I fail and bring up old hurt feelings and experiences.

Today while talking with a friend we were talking about a past experience with me. One that I'm not proud of, and will not hash out on the Internet for discussion. But what I will say is that during our discussion, she made helped me realize that things happen. Good or bad, things happen. The important part is what we took from it.

I know that in my life I have screwed up more times then I can count. I have said much more hurtful things to people than should ever come out of someone's mouth. I have held people accountable for their actions, all the while acting more righteous than my fellow neighbor. But I also know that because it's in the past, it's in the past.

How does one move on from the past? How do we, without conjuring up all those events that determined the direction of our character, live day to day without feeling sad, remorseful, guilty? Why is it so hard to forgive? Ourselves? Others?

On my way home today, I was listening to K-Love as I often do in the car and a music artist by the name of Rhett Miller was co-hosting. He's a Christian singer. He was talking about a time when he took a drive to have it out with God. He was feeling overwhelmed, overbooked, exhausted and unsure of what he was to do with his life. Even though he was married; expecting their first child; a promising music career. Pretty much a pretty solid life by my standards. He was dealing with the past.

His drive took him to the bank of a river where basically God told him "Let me handle the past."

Without knowing any details of my conversation with my friend, you could see how this simple statement from God would have deep impact on anyone dealing with the past.

"Let me handle the past," says God.

Not "process your feelings, confront people, figure out your priorities" ... a simple "Let me handle the past."

The more I say it; the more I type it; the more I realize the truth in that simple statement.

When I heard that statement, especially following a conversation with my friend, I know that God was speaking oh so clearly to me. He heard my concern in my conversation with my friend. He was trying so hard to put the right words in her mouth. I can see it all now. But it didn't click until I was on my way home in my car with the radio on, and a special guest on the station.

The feeling of relief that my God, my Jesus, was going to handle my past for me is one amazing and inspiring emotion. I cannot tell you how much weight I felt lifted off me. I have been dwelling on things I've done as recent as this week and as far back as 12 years. The choices I made before I gave my heart to God. He washed me of all of that June 5, 2011. And a year later I finally understand, Let God handle the past!

Peace