Not a Size 6

Yesterday I watched Dr. Oz. I know! I can't believe I did that either. But only because his show yesterday wasn't about how cell phone usage causes brain cancer, or any cancer causing issues. Even though, to him, everything causes some form of cancer. No doubt today's episode will revolve around cancer just to make up for the lost amount of discussion on his favorite topic from yesterday's show.

At any rate, yesterday's show revolved around making yourself feel better about yourself by changing only a few things. Not diet. Not losing weight. Not even exercising. ARE YOU AS SHOCKED AS I AM??? This was on HIS show!

Three women were guests, all plus size models. Sizes 12, 14, and 16. Beautiful women, all comfortable in their bodies. And all focusing, not on their flaws but, on their favorite assets.

Anyway, the thing that stuck out the most to me about these women is that they were healthy. They all worked out regularly, ate healthy diets, and had a healthy self-esteem. They weren't concerned with losing those last 10 lbs, or dropping 6 pant sizes. They didn't even seem to worry about what Dr. Oz might say. Cause we all know he usually says something about weight (it causes cancer!)

This episode had me glued. I was hooked on their every word. Watching the body language. Listening to them talk. I was convinced that even women who aren't size 6 are beautiful! A new concept to me. Trust me, it's new to me!

I have struggled with my weight as long as I can remember. I wasn't necessarily "fat" in high school, but was no where near the size of my thin and petite cohorts in school. The "pretty" girls. Even still to this day, they are thin and gorgeous. But for some reason my experience in high school created this unrealistic, and sometimes untrue, idea of beauty.

Yes we all strive to look and feel our best. But why do I feel like my best isn't good enough?

As I watched these three women on the TV it clicked. Being comfortable in your skin is all the matters. As long as you live and lead a healthy lifestyle, size doesn't necessarily matter. I'm not a twig, and likely will never be a size 6. But I realize that I am me.

My body is not the same as the person next door, or the girls I went to high school with. My body was curvy and I had red hair. At the time, I felt awkward and ugly. I had freckles, glasses, but no braces .. no need to add to that weird stage of teenage years. But my awkward feelings have grown into my adulthood.

Learning to love my body with all it's attributes is hard. I carry battle wounds (stretchmarks) from giving life to two beautiful children. I'm starting to get wrinkles around my eyes from age (not that I'm old). Luckily for me I don't have gray hair yet! :) That's a bonus!

But even with all these "bad" things going on with my body, I know that I am healthier now than I have ever been. And when I make goals of losing pounds or decreasing my pant size, I get occupied and consumed with my failures in those endeavors.

I learned something yesterday, I learned that I don't have to be a size 6 or even an 8 or 10 to be the most beautiful me I can be. If I am confident in myself where I stand with my looks now, it won't matter what other women look like. Or what society deems as beautiful. If I am happy and in love with what I see in the mirror, that is all that matters.

By the way, reading my blog does not cause cancer! ;)