A New Birth

"Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to all generously and without criticizing, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith without doubting. For the doubter is like the surging sea, driven and tossed by the wind. ......... By His own choice, He gave us a new birth by the message of truth so that we would be the firstfruits of His creatures." James 1: 5-6, 18

I have to admit, I haven't really ever focused on the book of James before. But this morning I was compelled to read James 1. I have a weird thing with trials in life. Because I believe our God to be good in all things, believing that he would PUT trials in my life is a hard pill to swallow. I know that Satan is one powerful being and will always be putting me to the test, to see where I am weak in my faith. Therefore, if Satan is testing me, then God isn't?!?! Right?

I read James 1: 2-18 and found that the writer never says that God is testing us. Just that our faith will be tested .. "Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance." James 1:2-3 ... just tells me that in going through trials in our life, that when we rely on the awesomeness and commitment of God, our faith will come out stronger and can endure more in this life.

As a fairly new Jesus-walker, I experienced one extreme trial from the start. Dealing with a drug addiction when I gave my life to Christ was one of the most difficult times. I committed to Christ to be the follower he calls for. Though, not in a sober frame of mind, I came through stronger. I ended the use of the drugs, and Jesus has been my prize ever since. That wasn't overnight, mind you. It was several months. And even after the fact, I still behaved in an unacceptable way. However, looking back to the summer of 2011, I can see exactly where I was walking, and where I was being carried.

Jesus was there. In the form of new friends, new church family, even to some extent my husband seemed different to me. "But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing." James 1:4 ... if I hadn't endured through that time in my life, if I hadn't committed myself to living and loving Jesus. I am unsure what my future would've been. My faith now is stronger.

James goes on to say that those that "lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to all generously and without criticizing.." I'm not sure about you, but this SCREAMS at me that God is not only there to guide me, but he is there to help me through my self-inflicted trials in life, without criticizing me. He's not there to bullet point all the things I was doing wrong, but rather guide me in the direction of doing what is right. What is holy and pleasing to God.

"A man who endures trials is blessed, because when he passes the test he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him." v.12

And CLEARLY, plain as day in verses 13 and 14 it states "No one undergoing a trial should say, "I am being tempted by God." For God is not tempted by evil, and He Himself doesn't tempt anyone. But each person is tempted when he is drawn away and enticed by his own evil desires."

FRIENDS, GOD DOES NOT TEMPT US!!! HE REDEEMS US!!!

That is good news to me! Knowing that I simply can just resist my humanistic desires to sin, with the help of God, and also knowing that if there is a trial that is self-inflicted (Satan encouraged) .. all I need to do is call on God for wisdom and He will bring me through it. God is a god of LOVE and ENCOURAGEMENT. NOT a god of temptation and evil!! Be clear, friends, be clear.

I came out of my darkest hour last August. Not because of what I was doing. But because Jesus was there, holding my hand, carrying me at times, lifting me through the quicksand. I fell in love with following Jesus because he saved me from all that I was inflicting on myself!

"By His own choice, He gave us a new birth..."

Things Happen

Many of you who read this will know nothing about me prior to when we first met. Many will have no idea of the things I did to myself, learned about myself and others, or why I am the way I am. And I'm okay with that.

Even though in conversation I can be fairly forthcoming, I am also very private about the past. I am just that way. I don't air my dirty laundry, I try VERY hard to not bring up past issues, I also try VERY hard to not make people feel guilty about things they have done in the past. I am not perfect, so I know that, at times, I fail and bring up old hurt feelings and experiences.

Today while talking with a friend we were talking about a past experience with me. One that I'm not proud of, and will not hash out on the Internet for discussion. But what I will say is that during our discussion, she made helped me realize that things happen. Good or bad, things happen. The important part is what we took from it.

I know that in my life I have screwed up more times then I can count. I have said much more hurtful things to people than should ever come out of someone's mouth. I have held people accountable for their actions, all the while acting more righteous than my fellow neighbor. But I also know that because it's in the past, it's in the past.

How does one move on from the past? How do we, without conjuring up all those events that determined the direction of our character, live day to day without feeling sad, remorseful, guilty? Why is it so hard to forgive? Ourselves? Others?

On my way home today, I was listening to K-Love as I often do in the car and a music artist by the name of Rhett Miller was co-hosting. He's a Christian singer. He was talking about a time when he took a drive to have it out with God. He was feeling overwhelmed, overbooked, exhausted and unsure of what he was to do with his life. Even though he was married; expecting their first child; a promising music career. Pretty much a pretty solid life by my standards. He was dealing with the past.

His drive took him to the bank of a river where basically God told him "Let me handle the past."

Without knowing any details of my conversation with my friend, you could see how this simple statement from God would have deep impact on anyone dealing with the past.

"Let me handle the past," says God.

Not "process your feelings, confront people, figure out your priorities" ... a simple "Let me handle the past."

The more I say it; the more I type it; the more I realize the truth in that simple statement.

When I heard that statement, especially following a conversation with my friend, I know that God was speaking oh so clearly to me. He heard my concern in my conversation with my friend. He was trying so hard to put the right words in her mouth. I can see it all now. But it didn't click until I was on my way home in my car with the radio on, and a special guest on the station.

The feeling of relief that my God, my Jesus, was going to handle my past for me is one amazing and inspiring emotion. I cannot tell you how much weight I felt lifted off me. I have been dwelling on things I've done as recent as this week and as far back as 12 years. The choices I made before I gave my heart to God. He washed me of all of that June 5, 2011. And a year later I finally understand, Let God handle the past!

Peace