Perma-Guilt Mom

There are many times when I have the most strong desires to get out by myself and enjoy the company of friends, with and without my dear hubby. But then while I'm out, I have this filling guilt of not being home with my kids. Expecting someone else to "mother" them, take care of them, hold them if they cry, feed them if they are hungry, cuddle them if they are tired, oh this list could go on and on. Chapter 2: Perma-Guild Mom: Real Moms Feel Guilty really put this into perspective for me.

The more I read, the more normal I feel, which leads to less guilt for feeling guilty. LOL!! The chapter discusses that in essence society puts this imprint on our brains as moms that if we don't feel completely and 100% responsible for our children's entire world (a mom myth) we aren't good moms. HOGWASH!!! LOL! Even though I definitely feel responsible for my children's lives right now, there will come a day when they will be the ones making their own decisions. My feeling of responsibility starts in the home, raising them with morals, foods I deem worthy of my kids' bodies, support in their actions, discipline for the behaviors that are simply unacceptable. I could go on and on about what goes on during our parenting season right now.

Back to guilt, as a mom, I naturally feel guilty when they get hurt .. why wasn't I watching right at that second? .. I am such a protector. I will walk into a room, house, park, whatever, and see all the dangers, and prevent, with almost a 100% accuracy rating, any injury to my children. So when they do get hurt, I feel an immense amount of guilt. But I'm normal. The problem with entertaining this guilt is that it's guilt over circumstances that most likely were out of my control.

My children are getting older. There will come a day where they are going to be going to a friend's house without me and I may or may not know the parents, the siblings, the grandparents, friends, and extended relatives of said friend. Yes this goes through my mind. There will come a time when my children will start driving a car .. not even going to attempt this one right now. If I'm that paranoid about a friend, just imagine what goes through my head about them driving. So the guilt I feel now is future guilt. Makes no sense.

Turning worries and guilt over to the Lord is such a hard thing to do for most anybody. Worry comes so naturally to me. Letting go of situations for God to handle on my behalf is beyond rough for me. I have a hard time believing that anyone could handle things better with my children than I can. But then I'm reminded of God's everlasting love and concern for the well-being of not only me, but my children as well. God gave me the children he knew I could handle, though at times I wonder about His decision. ;) I know that for my strength as a mother I have Him, friends, family, and close confidants for help. He has purposely picked those in my life to help me in specific times of need.

I'm a strong believer in the "People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime." My experience right now in mothering young children is one season of mothering. I have many ahead and many behind. My guilt as a mother will change as I get older, my children get older, and my life matures. Processing my guilt is the task that I am learning to process.

Because this is already so long and I've pretty much covered the Reality Check questions, I'm not going to post them.

Here are more real mom moments:

• A real mom answers the phone sounding like she's out of breath when her husband calls from work.
• A real mom can do many jobs at once but never feels she is doing a satisfactory job at any one of them.
• A real mom can acknowledge her mistakes with her children, husband, and herself and then take steps to work on making the family work better

Peace be with you all!