The Chapters of Change

I find myself lately recollecting times of change in my life, mainly as one friend is starting a new path in life and she and her little one are trudging through the waters of change. I think back to my life as a young adult, the people I associated myself with, the actions I took, where I worked, what I did, the family memories made, the feelings I hurt, the danger I put myself in, the lifestyle I was living. And I am beyond amazed I survived all of it.

It was not a pretty time in my life. My parents were undoubtedly worried sick about me, my sister concerned, my grandparents helping me at every turn, and I still managed to muck it up over and over and over again. The chemicals I put into my body were life threatening, the amount of alcohol that I took in in one session could have put any number of people in the hospital, the friends I chose to associate with, the decision to drive intoxicated repeatedly, feeling invincible.

I don't tell you this to get a "Good on'ya." I tell you this, because it was a chapter in my book of life. One that without it I would never be where I am at. Never have married Aaron, had my two beautiful blessings, or living in Alaska. I was a wild child. I lived it to the core and to the best of my abilities. And I am completely sorry that I did that to my body, my family, my friends.

When changes happen in life we can do one of two things, 1) Roll with it. OR 2) Complain about it. When change came to my neck of the woods back in 2003 I realized that what I was doing in life was not getting me anywhere. My roommate was a piece of work, so I got my own apartment. Some of the people I associated with were not of the best influence, so I started spending more time at the university focusing on my senior courses. A guy .. can't say man .. can't say boy .. so I say guy .. I associated with for a number of years, proved once again to be unreliable, so I stopped seeing him. And met Aaron three months later.

As my friend begins on this new journey of change, I'm sure she's thinking about all the things that went wrong, but I'd like to say one thing to her, all the wrong things brought about the right things. When you sit and recollect your past and feel remorse or misgivings about it, think about the solutions that came from your changes in your life.

We are all on this roller coaster together. It occurred to me today as I was driving that even simply driving a car on the road takes teamwork from all the drivers on the road to watch out for the other cars. One simple miscalculation while driving would bring about a slew of changes in someone's life. And when they have the hindsight beyond that event, they'll recall all the things they did before that event.

You can't live today if you are focusing so much on the events of yesterday. I can't focus on the drivers that passed me by or the one that could've changed my path in life. But knowing that that one simple split second of focus while passing me on the hwy has forever changed me, is amazing.

Change isn't a bad thing. It doesn't have to be insanely ridiculous or mind-blowing. Nor does it have to be subtle. It's all personal.