My Journey with Jesus

So, I've been thinking, praying, thinking some more, and then praying a lot. I don't really recall a time in my life when I've been so convicted with prayer and asking for mercies, or actually thanking Jesus for the many many blessings in my life. I, quite honestly, would do the "Thank you God for ...... -Amen." There's nothing really wrong with that, but it wasn't so personal or meaningful. I mean I'm really thankful for all the blessings in my life, but the last few months, I've been truly and utterly thankful and have become completely aware of how the Lord is working in my life. Granted, I don't know everything that is planned for me, my family, or what the future holds. But I know this, I know that whatever our future brings, the Lord provides the means and the direction.

This isn't easy to say, but I'm not perfect in my following of Jesus. But the fact is I'm striving to follow Him, in all ways. And some things completely frighten me. However, I feel this sense of anxiousness if I don't do it. We all come to this point in our lives, if we do, at a different pace. I thought along time ago my journey would be rapid, because I was raised going to church, Sunday School, participating in youth group, etc. So I had a basic knowledge of Christ, Faith, Grace, Love, etc. But in reality, I never opened myself up to a true and meaningful relationship with Him.

This journey, though somewhat personal, has been an interesting one. I thought that when I felt the heart string tug from Jesus, that it would be so easy to answer, based on my past with Him. I love Jesus. I always have, but I think that I've always just kind of put Him to my side as a friend, instead of a partner and guide in my life.

I'm what you might call a Christian by practice. I do all the things that I should be doing and love doing, but I don't do them with the expression of the Christ. I love helping people, being there for my friends and family. I love attending church. I love listening to sermons that make me want to go out and be a better Christian, but the actual implementation of a Christ-like life gets me. For some reason praying with others or being an example for my children, friends or other family members gets me every time. I'm working on that.

I often think of a song we use to sing the early service at my childhood church entitled "As The Deer." It goes like this:

Lyrics: 
As the deer panteth for the water
So my soul longeth after thee
You alone are my hearts desire
And I long to worship thee

Chorus
You alone are my strength my shield
To You alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my hearts desire
And I long to worship thee

Vs.2
You're my friend and You are my brother,
Even though you are a king.
I love you more than any other,
So much more than anything.


Vs3
I want You more than gold or silver,
Only You can satisfy.
You alone are the real joy Giver,
And the apple of my eye.

So where is my relationship with Jesus going?? I have no idea, but I'm really excited to find out. Because the more I know Him, the better my life is!


Peace.