10 Rules of Motherhood

Rules of Motherhood:

1) ALWAYS have an arsenal of snacks in your slightly-smaller-than-carry-on-size purse.
2) A diaper and small package of wipes fits in most purses and will come in handy when at the grocery or department store. This will also alleviate the carry of the gigantic diaper bag.
3) NEVER allow an almost 2 y/o that has a throwing arm to hold any sort of item in the back seat. Especially when he has impeccable aim. (Side note: shoes are also backseat weapons)
4) Always tell your children you love them when you are about to scream at the top of your lungs in insanity. This will remind you to calm down because you really do love them. =) And also may prevent any sort of unnecessary discipline.
5) Try not to take offense from your 5 y/o when she tells you you are not a straight woman. To her this doesn't have anything to do with orientation, it has to do with being thin or fat. HAHAHAHAHA
6) Make every effort in your last bone to get up before your children do in the morning to get that oh so brief time alone to mentally prepare for the day. Of course this might be an issue if you have unpredictable risers.
7) Listen to appropriate music.
8) Teach your children the "Clean Up" song. This will be an awesome tool in a public place where all the shelves have been emptied of their contents.
9) Dance. When you dance and make things fun like cleaning up (I'm all about the cleaning up) it makes it fun for the kids. Especially when you need/want their help in picking up the massive amount of collateral in their bedrooms.
10) Smile. My daughter is one of the most honest people I know. And when I am not happy, I don't smile and she notices and asks what's wrong. I'm not talking that you fake it. I'm talking that just in looking at my kids it makes me smile, even when they've made me so mad. They are a beautiful and perfect creation. I love them unconditionally. So, why not smile?