31 days

It has been 31 days since I deactivated my Facebook account. I wish I could say it's been easy flowing this whole time. But there are days, moments, and times I would REALLY like to share something on Facebook. But also, I want to use a few of the pages on there to sell things, or just see how people are doing.

Even though I miss some aspects of Facebook, I have come to realize that I don't NEED it like before. I don't need to find my worth there. My value. I don't need to see and KNOW what people are doing. I'm still struggling with figuring out how to get people to communicate with me about various things.

It's been funny when I hear stories about things in peoples' lives and they always respond with "Oh, right, you're not on Facebook." :)

My kids have finally stopped saying "You should Facebook that, Mom." Who know such terminology would come out of the mouths of a 4 and 7 year old.

Habits are hard to form, and with 19 definite days left of Facebook free, I wonder if I will activate it again, because I am worried that I will allow it to be such an influence on my life, again. I worry that I will lose the whole focus and understanding of this exercise.

God has been awesome with me. I still fail so miserably in daily prayer, devotion, time with Him. Allowing the Spirit to converse with me. Being in the presence of the Lord. But it is becoming more frequent. Learning to put God first in EVERYTHING I do has been a lot more difficult than I imagined it would be. My friends have been so supportive and often check on me wondering how I am doing without Facebook. (They all still have it.)

People at church are beginning to remember that I don't have it, and update me in person about events, or other things. It has been amazing seeing the transition in personal relationship with people and me. A friend recently deactivated her account just to see what it would be like. Knowing that it doesn't have to be a permanent thing helps make the decision.

God working through me has been my goal. The study at church has forced me to be more open about my life. The choices I made, as well as how the choices others made have influenced my life.

The most important thing I have noticed in this exercise, is that I have been more open to God in showing me where my heart is being led in the wrong direction, as well as the right. I am more patient with my kids. I am more loving with my husband. I am more accepting of faults, realizing that people aren't perfect.

31 days without Facebook. Seven months of the year have 31 days. I wonder what it would be like if everyone took a one month a year hiatus from social networking?

Challenge! And go!

Throwing in the Proverbial Towel

That is it!!! I am throwing in that proverbial towel! I can't keep up with all this perfect mom, parent crap!!!

Do I cloth diaper or disposable .. hell why not just let them go naked!?!
Organic or processed?
TV or NO TV or is 2 hours a day on average .. or what about all day? 
Home school is better.
No public school is better.
No private school is better.
Wait .. what about unschool, let's just let the kids decide what they wanna learn.
Chicken or beef?
Sugar .. stevia 
Agave or honey
Vegeterian or Vegan
Paleo or Modern
Republican or Democrat ... or Libertarian .. or Run and hide in the hills with ammo and guns.
Family pictures every year or not
Daily crafts with the kids make you a better mom .. how about I punch you in the face?!?!
Remember to have your kids read, write, recognize, say the sounds of each letter of the alphabet.... 
And if you REALLY want to be a good mom, they will be reading before kindergarten.
Homemade laundry detergent  .. or store bought
Line dry or electric dryer
You're a better mom if you spend 42.5 seconds a day looking into your child's eyes.

You're a better mom if you have every meal planned out for the month, plus bills paid, a back up plan for each meal, groceries bought and put away in 33 minutes, your list prepared, AND a binder for the family!
WHAT!?!?!

What the hell is going on that our motherhood experience is under attack by so-called perfect mothering methods??? Seriously!

I'm over it. I can't do it anymore. I'm not perfect. My house isn't always cleaned up. My kids don't always have clean socks ready and folded perfectly smelling like flowers waiting for their placing upon their perfectly cleaned toes. Sometimes I have to throw a panic load of laundry in the wash on the short cycle first thing in the morning and dry only what's needed at that moment for the day. So what!?!

I feel so much pressure from all these "1001 things to do to ensure your child grows up perfectly" blogs, posts, and crap! 

Why can't mothers just be moms. Talk to your kids. Walk with them. Play with them. Why does having designated scheduled craft time daily make you a better mom than any other mom? Why does feeding your child hormone free homemade chicken nuggets make you a better mom than a mom that gives her kids Tyson's chicken nuggets from the microwave?

I am done. I'm throwing in my towel. I will feed my kids what I deem fit. I will play with my kids MY WAY. 

Be the mom you are to be! Be the wife you are to be! Your kids and your husband are not anyone elses!!!!

Peace OUT!

My Drink Order is a Bota Box...The WHOLE thing

SOMETIMES I WANT TO SCREAM, HOOT, HOLLER, and CARRY ON LIKE A

TANTRUMMING TODDLER!!!!

Like, seriously. Like, no joke. Like right now!!!

Consider this post a therapeutic one.

My patience is non-existent today. My personality is negative. My idea of success is just that we will make it through the day all human bodies in tact, alive and breathing. Today, that is success!

The 4,000th time of saying no. The 4,000,000th time of disciplining. The 400,000,000th time of asking one child to accomplish one single freaking task! Screw this, I'm out!

Today is the day that I will consider a HUGE success that my kids make it all the way to bedtime alive. Breathing. Unbruised. And by a miracle, there will be minimal whining.

You know that tone, that whining tone that is piercing to the soul? That one has been my background noise all day. ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL DAY!!!!!

If I had the money, today I would've purchased a one-way ticket to Tahiti with an undetermined return date.

I'm sorry that Aaron had to come home to this. Usually by the time he gets home I have pulled myself (and the offspring) together as one cohesive and happy family unit. Usually with painted smiles, cartoons, or dinner ready.

Not today. Today, I want a glass of wine, no make that a 750ml bottle. No make it a box, a Bota Box.

Taking Back the Family

This post is probably going to be one of my more polarizing ones, so consider this your warning.

I am a stay-at-home-mom. And this title didn't come easy to me. I have had a hard time accepting it, working with it, and identifying with it. I am a wife to a husband who works to provide for our family. He IS our bread winner. As it should be, in my opinion.

A few days ago, I was watching an episode of Katie and she was interviewing a pro-volleyball player turned wife/mom, Gabby Reece. She is very blunt in this book, claiming that she is a submissive wife who takes care of the home, children, and her man.

Why would something like that be soooo offensive to women? I realize that decades ago women fought for equal rights to vote, wear pants, drink socially, etc. I realize that women fight for pro-choice, still equal pay, and it seems more now than ever, the right to have children WITHOUT the presence of a father. I have many many problems with several of those statements.

But I will stick to only this one: the family.

The family in today's society has been redefined in the shadows of women's rights. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be able to wear pants, vote, have an occasional drink in a public environment. But let's not forget that men and women are different. And we are made that way for a reason.

Why is it so necessary to redefine the man? Or the woman? When did it become the norm to have families without one parent present (if that parent isn't a tube)? Disclaimer: I'm not against IVF or any of those sorts of fertility treatments.

My problem lies herein with the fact that more kids are having sex at a younger age; more kids are experimenting with drugs at a younger age; more kids are growing up to having babies when they are still babies themselves. And more boys and girls are very confused about their gender. Dads and Moms have important roles in the family. And kids need BOTH parents active in their life to grow. Now, that said, there are situations where dads and moms should not be involved because of their own lifestyle issues and/or abuse.

Today, I turned in my notice to my boss that I will not be working after May 31 anymore. I have felt compelled to be that submissive wife that Gabby talks about in her book, My Foot Is Too Big For The Glass Slipper. 

Women have been redefined as hard, callous, and having to be mean, bossy, and successful in the business world. And because careers are taking precedent over family life, and building families, women are also having children at an older age. Don't even get me started on those risk factors, not to mention how old they will be when their own grandchildren are born.

Look, I am here to claim my attempted mark as a submissive, soft, tender, and family driven wife ... or at least striving to be one. I find therapy in folding the 3rd load of laundry for the day. I find pride in my children's well-behaved smiles. I find joy in a happy husband who can come home from work and play with his kids. I find success in a clean, well at least tidy home. And I find career in paying the bills. 

I am here to stand up for the rights of the family institution. Not to place blame on any one party or group for destroying it. But to ask questions as to why we can't have this family dynamic back to the way it was originally designed? Why can't we have women home without being labeled incompetent? Or lazy? Or just living off the husbands? 

Damn straight I will live off my husband!!! He is a man. It is ingrained in his DNA to work hard, hunt, provide for his family. And I will not be the wife to damage that calling on him!

And also, I am not incompetent. I have a bachelors degree in PR/Journalism and a masters degree in Elementary Education. Just because I choose to raise my children instead of use my college education outside the home does not make me an idiot. In fact, it does the opposite! If something were to happen to my husband, I could work. 

In closing, I just want all women out there to take back their positions as wives and mothers! Be proud! Stand tall! Work or don't work, but only make that decision because it is what's best for YOU and YOUR family. Not because some government official says, or your neighbor, friend, or mom! 

Nearing Our End of Our First Year of Home School

It has been a while since I posted about our homeschooling experience. It has been quite the experience, and while I am 66% sure we will not home school next year, I can't guarantee it. I am motivated only because our boundary school is awful, in my opinion. And boundary exempt schools are quite far away. Though second grade will be our next year with Kara, and that is my prime grade for teaching. I LOVE it.

I taught second grade a few years ago and loved every single stinkin minute of it. I could teach second grade till I died if I was able. :) So I'm unsure about not homeschooling next year.

We home schooled Kara this year because it felt right, she was bored at school, and many other things. See This Post about why we chose to home school this year.

In all, the year has been spent with blood, sweat, tears, and joy. My daughter, whom I love with all my heart, is a mini-me!!! Through and through. And because of that we can get along famously or battle to the death with our matching stubbornness.

I have loved most of the homeschooling experience with her. I home school preschool with supplementary private preschool for learning appropriate behaviors in a classroom situation. I home school because I love my children (not saying that those who don't home school don't love their children). This year has definitely been filled with ups and downs.

But when things like the unfortunate shooting in New Town, Conn., took place, I was happy to have my daughter safe and sound at home with me.

We don't full time home school. Kara attends an agricultural science-based school, Louise's Farm School. Kara LOVES it. Initially, when we started this home school path, Kara was weirded out by the whole thing. She thought the kids she went to LFS with, also went to public school. Not realizing that each of those kids were also home school kids.

I have had a few realizations over this time.
1) If I wasn't working, I would've been a better homeschooling mom/teacher.
2) If I was more dedicated to a schedule, it would've flowed better with more commitment.
3) The first year is really a learning experience with home school. (as I was told by many)
4) Just because I have a masters degree in elementary education, DOES NOT mean that I will be able to keep my cool in our home school room while teaching double digit math.
5) My relationship with my daughter has been significantly enhanced because of this experience.

What will next year bring? Only God knows. He is the reason we chose this direction, and He will be the reason we continue or not.

Here are some pictures of what we've been doing...

Snowshoeing with Flat Stanley at LFS

Learning how to test for avalanche risk at LFS

Midday schoolwork .. working together

Nothing like daddy rides

Nature journals

Home Ec? Baking blueberry muffins in the Easy Bake

Buffing up grammar .. Work Sample Finals

Science experiments .. Gummy Bunny (bear) in water
Growing an avocado tree

Peace!

Seven Reasons

It has been a few days since I posted last. And right now, I have a semi-quiet moment while my children are outside suffering through winter .. spring. Because, here in the great state of Alaska, we received an extra dose of winter last week. Yeah, don't get me started on that one! :) Be glad be glad be glad and rejoice!!!

Anyway, there has been a lot going on in my head. I've written about four different posts there, hidden somewhere in the dark treasures of my brain. But I can't seem to put it on paper .. well online.

So much has been going on in our world. So much that frightens and delights me. So much that I am having a hard time processing.

1) My children will never grow up in a world without metal detectors, scary people next door, or ample police coverage at events like marathons, fairs, airports. They will never know the innocence I knew as a child in playing in my neighborhood, front yard, or down the street without me worrying. My children will grow up long before they have to, because of the world we live. I wonder if my parents felt the same way when my siblings and I were growing up.

2) My heart breaks for those that are effected by so much hatred and anger in a way of being maimed. My heart breaks for the people who feel it is their duty and just right to cause such injury, physically and emotionally, to people, cities, nations. My soul cries out for the redeeming qualities of Christ. To reach those who are lost. Who feel the only way to make a difference is to spread hate, intolerance, violence.

3) When confronted with bitterness, rage, and anger, where do I seek refuge? Who or what am I calling on for comfort and guidance? I am hoping that it is MY Lord and Savior Jesus. I am hoping that I am strong enough to fight the urges of emotional instability, that I would seek other ways of dealing with fits of rage, irritation, fear. Jesus is the saving one, and He is simply just waiting there for us to say the words, "I need you."

4) Not having Facebook has made me realize a great deal in how much I sought out the approval of others. I often think about if anyone notices I'm not on Facebook. I let my mind wonder to the pictures and bragging facts I could be posting about my kids or life. Knowing that Satan is using all of this to wedge his way into my family. And he will, don't you forget that! Satan will.

5) I have the most amazing husband. Satan tried to blind me of this fact!!! I'm not joking. You might call me moody, you might say I was just having a bad day. But when I started this Facebook Detox, this idolatry detox, Satan finagled his way into my thinking. Into all that space I just cleared for Christ. He caused quite a ruckus  But thanks to prayer and my many friends that prayed when I asked, Christ is filling into those spaces that should only be for him.

6) My kids are images of God. Their ease in forgiveness, their faith and trust in me and Aaron, their spontaneity  all images of God. They remind me that I, too, have a Father that is faithful, spontaneous, and forgiving. They remind me that I am a child as well, and just because I'm an adult, I can still forgive, have faith, and be spontaneous like them. My kids are images of heaven. The innocence in their smiles, their laughter, their actions. All learning by my (and Aaron's) direction. Seeking knowledge, understanding, and approval. Not wanting to disappoint. Simply being children. If only I could be as a child ALL the time.

7) God is the most wonderful redeemer! He clears our paths, lays a guide, even sometimes gives us a peek at the road map he has set out for us. He is always there. When we fear, when we love, when we hate, when we disappoint, when we cry, when we laugh, when we fall, when we hurt. He has felt and experienced ALL of that! There is nothing better than my God!

With all that in my head, you might could see why I couldn't put together a post!

19 Days Facebook free! :)

Peace

Dairy Free Seafood Quiche (crustless)

Do you ever have brunch with friends? Not at a restaurant, but like at your home where you make some fancy breakfast food, they bring a food, the kids play while you talk over mimosas (or in our case virgin mimosas cause my friend is pregnant)? Do you?

I hadn't, until today! And it was such a lovely time. 

I imagine brunch being something that rich women did when their husbands played golf. They sat around in their pretty tea length dresses, sipping on REAL mimosas, eating things like breakfast cookies, fruit and quiche. While, I'm certain my imagination of such events isn't too far off, I can't help be be pleased that my friend and I didn't stray TOO far from my imaginary experience. :)

We aren't RICH, necessarily, and we definitely didn't have dresses on. We didn't have breakfast cookies or biscuits  But, there was fruit and quiche! :)

Dairy Free Seafood Crustless Quiche

And I made it! A crustless, dairy free, seafood quiche. My original plan was to make a crusted quiche, but I simply just ran out of ambition. :)

I have no idea if a quiche is suppose to look like that. I have seen some incredible fluffy ones. And, perhaps, this one isn't as "fluffy" because it's dairy free. But it was yummy! Even my friend says so! :)

So here's the recipe!

I hope you have many brunch-filled Saturdays in your future! :)

Ingredients:
4 eggs
1.5 cups of dairy free milk
1/2 flour
1tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt


1 clove of garlic
1/2 yellow onion chopped

1/2 portbello mushroom chopped
1 oz cod chopped
1 oz crab meat chopped
6 21/50 ct shrimp chopped
Olive oil

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350*

In skillet  heat up olive oil and smash clove of garlic, drop it in the EVOO to just simmer with the garlic until the clove starts to turn brown, pull clove from oil. Place chopped onions in oil, stirring around until transparent; then add mushrooms, and seafood. Sautee the mixture for about 4 minutes until everything is cooked thoroughly. Pour into a large bowl to cool

In a blender, blend eggs, milk, flour, baking powder, and salt. Pour over the sauteed mixture and stir together.

Lightly spray grease a pie pan. Pour Quiche batter into pan. Place in oven for 50 minutes. Time might vary if you are baking with a convection. About 4 minutes shy of 50 minutes.

The top will be a golden lightly crisp shell. Toothpick test it. And serve!