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Thursday, February 24, 2011

10 Rules of Motherhood

Rules of Motherhood:

1) ALWAYS have an arsenal of snacks in your slightly-smaller-than-carry-on-size purse.
2) A diaper and small package of wipes fits in most purses and will come in handy when at the grocery or department store. This will also alleviate the carry of the gigantic diaper bag.
3) NEVER allow an almost 2 y/o that has a throwing arm to hold any sort of item in the back seat. Especially when he has impeccable aim. (Side note: shoes are also backseat weapons)
4) Always tell your children you love them when you are about to scream at the top of your lungs in insanity. This will remind you to calm down because you really do love them. =) And also may prevent any sort of unnecessary discipline.
5) Try not to take offense from your 5 y/o when she tells you you are not a straight woman. To her this doesn't have anything to do with orientation, it has to do with being thin or fat. HAHAHAHAHA
6) Make every effort in your last bone to get up before your children do in the morning to get that oh so brief time alone to mentally prepare for the day. Of course this might be an issue if you have unpredictable risers.
7) Listen to appropriate music.
8) Teach your children the "Clean Up" song. This will be an awesome tool in a public place where all the shelves have been emptied of their contents.
9) Dance. When you dance and make things fun like cleaning up (I'm all about the cleaning up) it makes it fun for the kids. Especially when you need/want their help in picking up the massive amount of collateral in their bedrooms.
10) Smile. My daughter is one of the most honest people I know. And when I am not happy, I don't smile and she notices and asks what's wrong. I'm not talking that you fake it. I'm talking that just in looking at my kids it makes me smile, even when they've made me so mad. They are a beautiful and perfect creation. I love them unconditionally. So, why not smile?

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The Desirable Yet Undesirable Welcome Home

Every mom needs a getaway for a few days to rejuvenate and refresh for life as a mom. But what is it about moms that secretly hope that when they get away there's a desperate desire for her return? Or is this just me? It could be. I guess it could be the need to feel needed 24/7, absent or present. LOL

I'm a silly person I suppose, but in reality, I was a bit taken aback when I arrived home from my BFF Getaway to Seattle to see my family functioning just fine without me. Yes ... WITHOUT ME!!! How could this happen? How did they not burn the house down? Not drive Aaron crazy? How is it that my home wasn't a complete chaotic mess? That my kids were actually being fed a healthy dinner? That my husband wasn't distraught? That my children had been bathed?!?! What in the world is wrong with this picture??? Ummmm .. just absolutely EVERYTHING!!!

My family is my source of energy, life, happiness, and craziness. I do believe that in time I'll come to realize this was a blessing. I mean the exact opposite of what happened would inspire a completely different blog. :) But the reality is that I have a complete functioning system in our house that works, with or without me. For a moment this is heartbreaking. LOL! I know I know that sounds absolutely absurd and completely silly. But the fact of the matter is, I thrive on desperate acts of needing mom! From Aaron to the kids, I want them to need me 100%. What is wrong with me?!?!?

ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING! LOL! I am a nut case. I don't understand why I couldn't be happy that they were happy and healthy when I arrived. Perhaps I was hoping for that tackle hug when I walked through the door. Or the "I'm SOOOOO glad you are home" from Aaron. They were happy to see me, but in a different way. They weren't crying. There wasn't chaos. There wasn't a dire need for mom's ability to fix things. Or that Aaron was ready to start pounding a bottle of Jack the minute I walked in. I guess that this was an Okay home to walk into.

But guess what I did to entice the excitement I was craving .. oh yeah .. I broke out the souvenirs and prizes for everyone. I drew the excitement out with bribery! Oh I'm not above bribery! I'll take what I can get.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

My Dear Evan.

There are many times in my life that I can recall that Evan was there for me. I can also remember the times we had fun together. Some of the best memories I have of him are when he was a DJ on Power 91, a Cedar City radio station that was ran and operated by SUU students on the campus. I use to go hang out with him while he did his show. I got to know the deep personal side of Evan. He desires, his fears, his love.

He was one person I could count on knowing he'd be there for me through anything. Even if he disagreed with what I was doing, he was there for me. He was a to the core genuine loving person. It didn't matter who you were he loved you. From the moment you met him, he left a mark on your heart. He showed everyone what unconditional love and respect was. He made sure that everyone he knew, knew he loved and cared for them. He introduced me to some of the most awesome people I still call friends.

Evan was a person of deep emotion, who had a hard time processing loss. He loved everyone to a flaw. He trusted everyone, and put stock in every relationship he had. He was even so forgiving of the most emotionally damaging situations.

If there is one thing that I can say that Evan has taught me, it is to love. His love for people was astonishing. I will miss him. He was my sweettart! A big brother to me. A calm concerned smile in time of turmoil. Peace is all he wanted. All he needed was peace of heart. I hope he has peace now. I am sad that taking his own life was the only option he felt he had.


I love you Evan! You will always have a piece of my heart!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

To-Do List Addiction

I have had a bit of a hard time lately writing a blog and I'll tell ya why. My life is busy. From feeding and bathing kids, to taking one to school, socializing another, wiping noses, changing diapers, doing laundry, dishes, vacuuming, wiping a nose again, disinfecting the house, administering medicines at the proper times, feeding the dog, prepping dinner, reloading the dishwasher, back to laundry, making beds, picking up the 900 crayons for the 10th time. Oh my gosh I could go on. So my brain isn't necessarily in a state of rest to sit down and write. And that's not necessarily a bad thing either.

It seems to me when I am sitting here blogging I just let my fingers do the typing and everything in my brain just kind of spills out. I'm not sure where this specific post is going, or if I'll even be lucky enough for it to have a point, but know this, I have had some coffee. Item #1 checked off my to-do list for today.

Now that we're talking about to-do lists, let's think about these things that we create to encourage ourselves to be more productive during the day. I think that when I've started my day off with a to-do list I've already failed. Because I'll never achieve this list. Why? Because I have children, Kara, 5, and Mason, 1. These two alone have the power to hinder any progress I foresee in my day. This isn't a bad thing. HAHAHA. But it is reality. To-do lists are great when you are at an office and have a list of items to be achieved before a certain deadline. These lists are also good when mapping out an errand run, or even planning an event.

Yesterday I was talking to a friend and she informed me that she is a list maker. I realized at that moment I, too, am a list maker. I have piles of notebooks, hoards of pens, paper clips, sticky notes, and a method that would stump even the brightest secretarial student in filing. :) I just made another FREAKING LIST! HELP!

Anyway, I am a list maker. I make a list of our bills, household to-dos (a.k.a. Honey Do List), and errands. I also have fallen victim to the Daily Goal To-Do list. This is the ultimate failure of to-dos. I'm starting to hear Ta Dah in my head. hmmm

Anyways, when I set up a daily list and I don't even get one thing marked off that list I sit and think about what I didn't do that day, instead of planning for tomorrow. And then that dumb quote pops into my head "Why put off until tomorrow what you can accomplish today." I'd like to meet this person. I can almost guarantee this person never had kids.

I mean I even started this post off with a list! There is something wrong with me. :) Lists are a good thing. But how obsessive can one be about making lists? Subconsciously I make lists. I even tend to bog my mind down at night making a list for the next day. WHERE DOES IT END!!!?!?!

Then there's the Honey Do List I mentioned a second ago. Not only do we, as moms and wives, make lists for ourselves, we've branched out. We've expanded our list-making horizons to our spouses. We've sucked them into our obsession of creating a tangible, evidential hand held list that is proof we have aspirations to accomplish something, anything really. Just to have that one or more items marked off the list. To say to ourselves, "Look what I did today!!" For that proud moment of doing something was needed and necessary. But why? Why do we need this proof of productivity? Why do I make these lists that disappoint time after time?

Can't I just be confident in my day spent with my children? I mean, after all, if we're all breathing and alive by bedtime I consider the day a success. :) Perhaps I'll try a new list. Maybe when I write my list for the day I'll include things like "playing with my kids," or "read to my kids," or "do a craft with my kids." These I think are things that are completely achievable. And then at the end of the day when I check my "to-do list" I'll see all the things marked off.

Peace.